Here's a little way of thinking for beginners that has helped me understand women. We all know that signs of neediness, desperation, and scarcity make women's skin crawl. The reason for this is that there is an instantaneous unconscious inference chain that constantly runs in women that evaluates all male behavior. The chain goes:
Q: Why is he trying hard?
A: He has to because he doesn't have.

Q: Why doesn't he have?

A: Because he can't get.

Q: Why can't he get?

A: Because he is low quality/value - turn off.

The chain from "doesn't have" to "can't get" to "low quality" can run on anything. Why is he sulking? Because he doesn't have. Why doesn't he have? Because he can't get. Why can't he get? Because he is low quality.

Why is he being nice? Because he doesn't have. Why doesn't he have? Because he can't get. Why can't he get? Because he is low quality. Even things that we think of as good, like dressing well, or working out, can trigger this thought chain if they come from a place of neediness. Why is he dressing to impress? Because he doesn't have. Why doesn't he have? Because he can't get. Why can't he get? Because he is low quality. When a rich guy dresses to impress, on the other hand, it comes from abundance, not neediness, and doesn't trigger the thought chain. In fact, its the complete opposite. Why is he dressing to impress? Because HE HAS - turn on.

So you need to make sure to prevent this chain from kicking off right at the beginning, at the "doesn't have." That is what all the stuff about "abundance mentality" is trying to do. I'll add, the abundance mentality alone won't work if she knows you're a "don't have." If she knows you're poor, and you show up in an expensive suit, it will trigger the "why is he trying hard?" chain. This is the problem with incongruence, it kicks off the chain.