Men and Body Image Issues

HeForeverBleeds · 2018-07-09T20:31:09+00:00

I used to be insecure about my height, because due to health / nutrition issues my development was stunted so I was shorter than most other people and puberty started kind of late

I was hoping that I would "shoot up" after my growth spurt, especially since my dad was 5'10". This never happened; I grew from about 4'9" and 85 pounds at 14, to 5'2" and 95 pounds at 17 and basically stopped. I tried building up muscle, but the max I reached was 105 lbs., and of course nothing could be done about my height. That hasn't changed till now, and I'm 27-years-old

I still say used to be insecure about my height, because it doesn't bother me anymore. My guy friends don't care, more and more I've stopped caring about women's opinions (and some of their "any guy whose height doesn't start with 6' is useless to me"), and most importantly I've come to accept it about myself regardless of what other people think

It still sucks shopping for clothes, though

The__Tren__Train · 2018-07-10T00:25:00+00:00

-had horrible acne.. used Accutane.

-had horrible teeth.. got braces for years

-was sickly pale.. got a tan

-was scrawny.. started working out and using steroids.

luckily, im a decent height. ive pretty much done everything that I can to conquer my insecurities, and things have gone pretty well.

needless to say, I don't feel too much sympathy for whamen who use makeup and filters to hide their flaws instead of addressing and fixing them... and declaring obesity to be the new 'beauty', instead of putting in the work and having discipline.

I was ridiculed for the way I looked, so I put in the time. while I won't ridicule others, I won't coddle them for things that they can fix.

elebrin · 2018-07-10T01:43:52+00:00

This is a topic I am interested in discussing.

I was made fun of, at a very young age (under 10), for being circumcised. That was the last time anyone saw my naked body besides myself until I was over 30. That was a big deal. I got a little fat in my late teens, and then I got a lot fat in college. That was a bigger deal , and I used my disdain of sports/physical activity as something only dumb people do as an excuse.

So I was already insecure about my body, perpetually horny and bitter, and then I added obese and mostly physically incapable to that list. I'm sure you could imagine what I was like. The "incel" community didn't exist at the time and I never bought into their sense of entitlement but I understood their pain because I felt it. I had a let it burn attitude to the world and to my own life. The former still exists in my somewhat but the latter is mostly gone. All of this stemmed from my physical presence and how I felt about it. I was uncomfortable, tired, and sexually frustrated in what seemed like a permanent manner.

Here's what I learned: The causes may not have been my fault, and there may be nothing I can do about it. There will always be things I hate about my body. I resent the fact that I am circumcised. I resent the fact that I let myself get fat, and will always have loose skin for the remainder of my life now as a result. I will never be at the top of the attractive scale but that's OK. I can make myself better. I can stay lean and gain muscle. I can keep my hair and clothing choices fashionable (something that takes 30 minutes of effort every 2-3 years if you do it right, by the way). I can improve my personal hygiene, take good care of my skin, wear my contacts, and keep my teeth up. Those are the things I CAN do.

My physical repulsion of myself drove so many of the negative attitudes and behaviors I had for so long. Now it drives positive change. It's OK to not like my body. It's actually preferred because it takes honest criticism, prioritization to make positive change. The negative fuels the positive.

Rage Against the Machine said, "Your Anger is a Gift" and they were right, man. Stoke that fire in you. Build it up. Use that energy to remake yourself into somebody you can respect, into somebody who can live a meaningful life.

mrathrw · 2018-07-10T06:52:04+00:00

I was never conscious of my height (5’4”) until I began trying to date. I’m also bald. What can I do though, I can’t fix either problem, and together “short and bald” is a lottery winner’s ticket of unhappiness.

There is very little support out there for male body image issues. Being short is among the worst crimes of man — you’re among the last categories of human beings of whom it is perfectly acceptable to make fun of without regard to your feelings.

It took a long time for me to accept myself for who I am. Remember, you be you. If you don’t want to be you, lift. I channelled every bit of my frustration on those weights and I did that for myself and nobody else. Everything else is irrelevant.

creatureshock · 2018-07-10T08:52:38+00:00

Back in the late 80s and early 90s there was a big thing with bodybuilders to have body dysmorphia issues. I used to run in those circles because I was a gym rat in my teenage years and it was interesting to see men that were that chiseled is damn near every sense of the word complain about their bodies. How they were small, how they needed to add more weight, they needed to fill out their backs more, things like that. Most of these guys had no interest in becoming an IFBB pro, just happy to get big and work out. Some did get into cycling steroids, and then would complain about the effects of those cycles as well. Zits and oily skin would be most common thing they'd complain about. I remember watching the documentary "Man Who's Arms Exploded" on YouTube many years ago, and he would talk about how his dad would call him a shrimp and degrade him, and that is how it started for him. And it reminded me of the guys I would spend hours in the gym with a day working out.

nforne · 2018-07-09T21:11:12+00:00

I've had crippling body image issues. Still have them, in fact. They affected my education and had a huge impact on my social life. I've lost friends due to them.

I don't speak about them because nobody really wants to hear about that shit from a guy.

mrwhibbley · 2018-07-10T13:20:49+00:00

I work mostly with women. In the past few years of having kids, working overnights, and getting older, I've put on a few (20) pounds and earned some gray hair. I've had countless comments from my coworkers joking about my belly and hair. (Honestly don't care about my hair but it's still a double standard) After a bunch of weight jokes, I finally called out one of the women who was joking and had actually had weight loss surgery. She was embarrassed, but ironically, another female coworker nearby attempted to support me (nice I know) but I had to point out she had said I had a "dad bod " the previous night.

Minimitii · 2018-07-11T10:25:40+00:00

Im not an adult yet, but as a girl who is almost 6ft now, to me, it doesn’t matter. Just letting you know that some girls know that genetics are genetics and while you can’t change the rest of us, it’s ok. Tbh, I’m a little body conscious too. I’m not perfect, you might no see yourself as perfect, but plenty of people will and already do.

Men and Body Image Issues

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The Man Whose Arms Exploded

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Title	Men and Body Image Issues
Author	JackFisherBooks
Upvotes	27
Comments	10
Date	July 9, 2018 6:42 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/8xep7b/men_and_body_image_issues/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/men-and-body-image-issues.898271 https://theredarchive.com/post/898271