I'm married, in the military, and deployed. My wife of three years and I were begining to have problems until two months ago when I found TRP. Work has been busy so I haven't had a lot of time to commit to reading but, I read when I can.

What may seem like an easy answer to some of you is truly stumping me currently. Because we communicate long distance via FB messenger, words get twisted, often.

During a recent conversation with her, a week ago, she shit-tested me. I told her I "would not argue with her and that her behavior was unacceptable". She continued to argue and I ignored her. The following day she admitted wrongdoing but her punishment was already in effect. No communication with me for 24 hours.

We fix things. I remind her that "that behavior is not tolerated". She understands and accepts.

Well, we had a major blowout yesterday that has stumped me. Because comm is via text, there was a missunderstanding. She believes that I was wrong to say something. I tried explaining the "thing". She became hostile and said she had "lost-respect" for me. I took the bait. I engaged. I know what I should have done. I fucking get it.

She admits that she was wrong for freaking out, later even though she jumped into character assualts and name calling (a first for that). She expects me to say I'm sorry for what she feels is me being a dick (was just a missunderstanding). I refuse to apologize for that shit. I won't do it. I will continue to ignore her.

This is my problem! The more I ignore her the more attention she seeks. This encourages her to text me. The more she texts me the longer she has to wait until I will text her again and I WILL BE THE ONE TO DECIDE WHEN WE CAN TALK AGAIN. Will this be an indefinite cycle until she leaves me, have I misread the situation (am I fucked up-she' s playing with my head, right?), or should I do the beta thing and talk to her about our misunderstanding?