A few months ago, I was on fire. Alpha in every regard. Killing life and spinning plates. For reasons beyond my control, I've only had one plate spinning for the past 15 days or so. She was an amazing plate when I had everything in check, but I've seen her almost every day (sex multiple times a day) and she's pushing hard for a relationship. I can literally see myself slide back into my BP days, but have flashes of the red mindset. I'd say its 50-50. Now that she's seen the blue side of me, can I go back to how things were a month ago? I have other dates this week and I'm worried that I'll go full blue on them.

Also, how do I get that fire back? I feel so content with life at the moment, but I need to keep climbing.