Complete hypocrisy. A women hits her husband for dating to want her to live and I'm downvoted to hell for saying that women shouldn't hit their husbands.

Lethn · 2016-10-01T02:07:21+00:00

The right thing to do is to say nothing if you can't formulate a more diplomatic response. Not every situation is a soapbox situation.

Use a little common sense and a little sensitivity. This isn't a domestic abuser, this is somebody dealing with the worst fucking day of their life who was pushed too far by somebody else who is also dealing with the worst fucking day of their life. I'm sure you can tell the difference between a truly violent person and a person who has reached their breaking point. This is something for the two of them to work out.

A man is losing his wife, and a woman is about to lose everything. Yeah, if the genders were swapped I'd still suggest saying nothing to them. I'd want people to use common sense and sensitivity with a man too.

Here's what I would say though:

"I am sorry for what you are going through. Find your husband and tell him you are sorry for hitting him. Despite everything going on right now you need to work through this together for the sake of your family."

trampson · 2016-10-01T18:53:07+00:00

This is one of them "you're not wrong, but you're being an asshole" situations. I've no idea what my mental state would be like in the immediate aftermath of learning I was going to die young, not see my kid growing up, them growing up without a father (in her case a mother)... and then be screamed at by my partner.

Pick your spots better.

Good luck to that family :(

wisty · 2016-10-01T01:17:50+00:00

tl;dr - a woman who was just diagnosed with terminal cancer got snappy when she didn't want chemo (a slight life extension, but there's always trade-offs) and argued with her husband over this.

Did she say she thinks that men should never, under any circumstances, ever hit a woman, even if they're dying of cancer and lose their cool for a brief moment? If not, she's not hypocritical. She's just having a very bad day.

oshmkufa2010 · 2016-10-01T01:36:44+00:00

It's not even really playing devil's advocate to let that one slip. She said she never did it before, she sounded very remorseful and it's not like she did it out of nowhere. Should she have done it? No. But it was also insensitive of him to blow up on her when she's just been diagnosed with terminal cancer, so I hate to say it, but he kinda had it coming. She didn't choose cancer and honestly, if I was in her shoes (i.e. dying either way in the near future) I'd try giving birth to that child too, even if it killed me. Being blamed in such a way by the person who is supposed to love you probably hurts very much and I don't assume she nearly killed him, so yeah, he'll be fine. No need to be more papal than the Pope. Just wish her all the best and move on. No need to be a jerk about it. It sounds like she deserves the benefit of the doubt.

levelate · 2016-10-01T01:11:10+00:00

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2016-10-01T06:07:23+00:00

It was because you're being a douche nozzle. Lady was told she would be dead in a couple years, tops. She is in store for unimaginable pain and suffering. She is pregnant and has a little one. Yes, she shouldn't have hit anyone, but that's a shit load to go through AND she already admitted she was wrong.

Seriously. Don't be a psychopath.

OpheliaGingerWolfe · 2016-10-01T01:18:23+00:00

The woman was already showing how irrational and selfish she is by willing to let the life of her existing child mean absolutely nothing in comparison to the life of a fetus. She is willing to kill herself by not taking treatment and leave a child motherless and a father over burdened with the care of said child. Children are expensive enough and now she wants to add a cost of a funeral on top of it.

2016-10-01T05:33:46+00:00

Jesus. That poor woman. That poor, fucking family. Sometimes... Doctors: why won't they listen?

Revoran · 2016-10-01T08:20:03+00:00

Links to other subreddits must use NP format ("np" in place of "www").

Not that it really stops much brigading.

functionalsociopathy · 2016-10-01T03:49:02+00:00

i agree that there is a double standard, but you're getting dangerously close to being a reverse version of a feminist. she didn't slap him because he dared to want her to live, she slapped him because he blew up on her for wanting their second child to live even if she didn't. both of their actions are understandable in this scenario.

i would hope that if the genders were reversed and it was the woman saying "i'm aborting this baby since you won't be around for it" that a slap would still be understandable

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