For those of us in LTRs, how do you handle events like Valentines Day?

bishnu13 · 2013-12-31T03:50:38+00:00

Make sure Valentines day is equal (or at least portray it as such).

Clauderoughly · 2013-12-31T07:11:24+00:00

Meh.. I handle them like any other day.

I don't buy my wife anything on any of those days, because they are "obligation days" Any gift is meaningless because I am giving it out of societal obligation rather out of genuine affection.

She gets gifts randomly through out the year, as random surprises, which she likes a hell of a lot more.

Not super expensive ones either. It's little things like a shade of nail polish I know she will like.

Shows I am actually interested in what interests her.

whiskey_bearfist · 2013-12-31T15:09:29+00:00

just spend some quality time with her. go on a short trip. go for an evening hike. cook a meal with her.

turn off phones, tvs, disconnect.

if the two of you are inclined, i recommend about 1 to 2 grams of psilocybin mushrooms. or if you arent into tripping, split a bottle of wine and get a bit fuzzy headed.

buying her gifts signals provider role. spending time(which is valuable) with her, without any distractions is a better idea and more romantic.

just dont become a supplicative chump. doing nice things every once in a while for a girl who is attractive and pleasant isn't going to kill your attractiveness, but copping gifts by default every time a consumer holiday comes around is boring.

BorMato · 2013-12-31T07:55:31+00:00

The best way to go about this is to not buy her something because she expects it or, "it's just what you're supposed to do," but rather do it because you deem worthy of it. Make it clear to her that whether you are buying gifts, dinner etc, you are doing it because she has earned it in your eyes. If you do not believe she is deserved of it, do not do it.

darklogic420 · 2013-12-31T19:38:16+00:00

In our marriage my wife and I borrowed a tradition from Japan.

Basically Valentine's day is for her to do something romantic for me. I get to see just how much effort she puts into knowing me and catering to my imperative. Then a month later I mirror her effort level exactly.

This practice actually opens a woman's eyes regarding what connected intimacy really means when it's the woman that must step up to the plate.

[deleted] · 2013-12-31T05:18:58+00:00

Married 1.5 years. We've been traveling a lot and I've made it clear that those are her gifts (along with a few impulse purchases). Didn't get her anything for Christmas. Will probably get her a small gift for vday.

mordanus · 2013-12-31T09:31:21+00:00

I tell my wife that I don't celebrate valentine's day because it's weird as fuck. Some guy got decapitated forever and a day ago so I should celebrate that by buying my wife candy? Yeah no thanks. I've been married 12 years and the last 2 anniversaries we have both forgotten. Christmas though is pretty nice. You think about what your SO would appreciate and get her that. It's not too big of a deal.

Guh99 · 2013-12-31T03:28:41+00:00

Married for almost 4 years.

Xmas- no gifts, if anything gifts that we both benefit from

Birthdays, valentines- no gifts or small gifts and dinner.

I don't need gifts. If I want something I get it.

I do have an ace in the hole gift for any female including moms, sisters. Diamond candles. They are a cheap thrill for them.

Title	For those of us in LTRs, how do you handle events like Valentines Day?
Author	ohmontreal
Upvotes	10
Comments	13
Date	December 31, 2013 2:51 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1u2a6c/for_those_of_us_in_ltrs_how_do_you_handle_events/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/for-those-of-us-in-ltrs-how-do-you-handle-events.9416 https://theredarchive.com/post/9416

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