How to fix low self esteem?

howtohavesafexex · 2017-07-15T19:20:43+00:00

Here's just my opinion on building self-esteem

I know when you grow up, you hear people tell you "fake it until you make it" and all that nonsense

Don't do that. The way imo to build self esteem is #1 be yourself. And especially be yourself around others. If so and so tells you to be more confident to approach girls, don't act it. If you are naturally shy/quiet, approach girls that way. Sure some girls may laugh at you and what not or reject you harshly, but then as you do it more and more, you'll find that different people are into different stuff and some girl will likely be into you.

You have to be yourself, so you can get a sense of exactly what people like or think about you. If you fake it or always try to be someone your not or someone you want to be in the future, you'll never get a sense of what people like about you. If you fake a persona with a girl and she "likes" you, you'll always be wondering if she actually likes you or the fake personality you are doing. This is true for any social interaction - you have to be you, no matter how terrible, bad, loserish you think you are just be you. Once you get the baseline of what people like/dislike about you, you can edit out the parts that you can or want to change and build on the stuff that people do you like you.

Then you'll for sure know what qualities in you people like, and what qualities people may not like so much. Plus you build confidence by finding people that actually like you - and all your flaws. Everybody is different, but everyone can find someone similar to them. Everyone has flaws so no need to shy away from them. Girls often post a meme on Instagram: This isn't heaven, you don't have to be perfect.

SirKolbath · 2017-07-15T19:07:35+00:00

Self-esteem is not the issue. Self-respect is the issue.

What do you do that you can respect yourself for?

Every night before you go to bed take five minutes and write down three things that you accomplished that day that are worthy of respect. I am fairly confident that you will not make it a solid two weeks before you start to see yourself in an entirely different light.

Good luck to you.

Australian_wanker · 2017-07-15T21:37:52+00:00

Mindfulness and meditation are good tricks.

The idea being that the subconscious spews out thoughts that are good, bad or ugly. it is up to your conscious mind to accept or reject the thoughts your subconscious creates.

Read this: https://markmanson.net/your-two-minds

It's a lot of hard work man, but simply being aware of your internal monologue and calling yourself out on the bullshit you think is a big part of it.

TheMaleFrame · 2017-07-15T23:47:56+00:00

Why do you feel unworthy? Why do you hate yourself?

Title	How to fix low self esteem?
Author	empatheticapathetic
Upvotes	1
Comments	5
Date	July 15, 2017 6:54 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/6nhmq9/how_to_fix_low_self_esteem/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-fix-low-self-esteem.94168 https://theredarchive.com/post/94168

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