I am at my wits end.

While I was growing up the school I went to spendt 7 years ignoring me getting bullied. I got cut by knifes, spit and piss in my jacket and shoes, my teeth crushed in by rocks, poisoned, toilet brush put in my mouth and beat up on a daily basis during 7 years. I nearly killed myself, the only thing that kept me from killing myself was my rock solid mountain of a mother. Who was allways there for me, and fought the system to try and get me help. To try and get the school to do something, but they never did and got away with it. I am mentally scared most likely for life. My bullies were both girls and boys, both mental and physical bullying.

But I am now 26 years old and alive, trying to claw my way back into a normal life. Living below minimum wage, struggling to go out of the door. Never had a girlfriend and never had sex, I am too scared of girls and their insane standards that I could never live up to. I am no bad boy, I am nice and boring. All of my asshole friends is either sleeping around or has gotten married by now with family and kids etc. and nice jobs. I am somehow threading water just staying afloat, staying alive. Trying to find straws to grasp to.

And now, the school I went to is ruining my 13 year old littlebrother the same way they did to me. He is getting bullied, mentally and physically. Mom is trying to do anything she can to help but the principle breaks the law constantly and his wife the school nurse is hiding everything. The higher ups are ignoring letters and the police cant do shit. The school called the child protection services on my mom and theyre close to taking him away and I cant do anything to help. I am fucking helpless.

I am at the end of the line, I dont care about me. I will survive somehow but the school and the system is breaking my littlebrothers mentality and shifting blame to my mom to hide the abuse he goes through at school just like they did with me. And theyre getting away with it again. My brother is talking about suicide now.

I cant do anything. And a couple of days ago this feminist came up to me and started spouting crap about women beeing opressed. I snapped, what the fuck did she know about beeing opressed? How am I priviledged because I have a dick? If anything I wish I didnt have a dick then the bullying mightve been less painfull. Or I could have just flashed my tits to get them to stop if I was a girl. Just anything to make it stop.

Somehow I am opressing women, me, a 26 year old virgin that lives way below minimum wage and can barely face the world much less fully function normally. Spending all day worrying about when my brother is going to be taken away from the family so I wont ever be able to see him again.

What does some priviledged girl that has never experienced bullying, that has a good education and a steady job know about beeing opressed? wtf does she know about going to school literally afraid of getting stabbed to death every single day. Wondering will they cut me upp for fun, beat me a little or settle for slizing up my new cheap jacket my hardworking single alone mom bought me at sale. And make me cry because I had to tell mom my clothes were ruined again but atleast I wouldnt feel physical pain that day.

What did she know about beeing opressed? About not beeing able to talk your mind? Where a clique of people had the entire class in their grip freezing me out socially so I never had any friends. And if I ever said anything out of line, or if they were bored they would beat me up for opening my mouth. Heck I got my nose broken because I had to sneese because I made noise.

The system doesnt work, I am losing my family and theres no one to talk to. Shrinks cant do anything, police wont do anything, lawyers wont do anything. Iwill just sit on my ass like a worthless piece of crap while the last thing I hold dear in the world gets thorn away from me and yet again I am powerless to do anything.

Who am I kidding no one is going to read this. I will post anyways, in case anyone else out there is in the same situation, atleast know youre not alone. I know its no comfort and doesnt mather, but youre not alone. Theres a reason to live, allthough I cant say I have found one I am sure there is one out there somewhere.

Keep on going on, dont give up!!