Any men willing to tell their rape story?

HeForeverBleeds · 2016-06-25T08:04:01+00:00

I lived alone with my mother between the ages of 5-12 years old, and during this time she had a bunch of different friends who would come through the house. The first time I was molested by one of them was when I was 8

At first she fondled me; I think she was trying to get me erect to have sex, but for some reason I couldn't. When that didn't work, she made rub what I now know was her clitoris, first with my finger but then she tried to get me to lick it

I didn't want to because I thought it smelled really gross. I told her this and she got angry, and ended up pushing me down and straddling my mouth, saying she wouldn't get up until I made her orgasm. Even though at the time I didn't really understand what sex was or that what she did was basically molestation, I just remember it tasting disgusting and I ended up puking afterwards once she decided she was finished with me and left. My mother was there at the time, and she helped the woman hold me down

The first time I was actually raped--as in completed intercourse--was when I was 11 years old. It was another friend of my mother's, not the same one, but now I'm pretty sure they were all apart of some kind of pedophile ring that maybe met each other online or something, because there's no way it was a coincidence that herself and so many of her friends were like this

This time when the woman fondled me I actually did get erect--which surprised and confused me. She said this meant I was ready for sex, and though by now I knew what sex was, it definitely wasn't something I was interested in doing at that point, especially not with this person who always intimidated and scared me besides

Needless to say, my objections went unheeded. She pinned me down with her weight to hold me still while she did it, when I struggle she told me that she was just trying to teach me, and afterwards she told me I still wasn't a real man and was being rude and ungrateful for crying about what she did

While these things were taking place my mother was in the room just watching it play out. At the end she apologized to the woman for my not being a good "lover" and said that she would make sure I was better taught for the next time

I took a shower afterwards and scrubbed for seemingly hours, but I still felt dirty. Nothing could get rid of that feeling of powerless while I was under her completely unable to control what she did or what would happen. As many times as I was forced to give orals before this, something after this time--actually having intercourse--was just so much worse

I think because I got an erection it was as if my own body was betraying me; not only couldn't I control the situation or what this woman did to me, I couldn't even control how I myself responded to it. And the utter hopelessness of living in the same house with the person who enabled this to happen, knowing that the next day and the day after that it would just happen again and again every night is a feeling I still haven't really gotten over, even though it's been more than 12 years since my mother died

2016-06-25T07:11:47+00:00

I've never been raped, but once I came home and my mother was watching a porno and masturbating on the couch. She said "I'll give you $4 if you lick my pussy". I just walked away traumatized.

There were two occasions where the intention wasn't clear. One guy asked me to help him find his dog in an alley. Obviously no one needs help from a 6 year old. Another time this older kid wanted to compare penises. He asked to touch but then he had to check in with his mom. I assume he had to check in because his parents knew what he was doing.

civilsaint · 2016-06-25T13:23:36+00:00

Was out drinking some beers. A friend bought me two shots and I got sick. This very unattractive girl (she looks like an Oompa Loompa) grabbed me by the arm and said she would take care of me. I had previously told her I wasn't interested in her sexually.

At her house, she kept trying to take off my clothes. I said no many times. She flat out offered to do whatever I wanted, I said to let me sleep. She tried to grab my belt, I pushed her away.

I fell asleep and came to with her on top of me. I went along with it for a few seconds until I realized what was happening, then I yelled at her, and she tried to pretend like it was my fault.

She's a total sexual predator, but will never be on a watch list.

KamiNekoSama · 2016-06-25T23:25:08+00:00

Oh goodness, it was years ago and i was drunk out of my mind. Nobody cared or believed me then, doubt anyone would now.

ARedthorn · 2016-06-26T07:39:04+00:00

So... Yeah. Sure. I mean, it's sort of a drama in 4 parts, not a single story, but hey. I don't mind sharing.

I was molested by a babysitter when I was 6 or 7. Her mother walked in on us... I barely remember it, but... Between that and some private Christian schooling my parents ended up regretting, I grew up with a sense of intense shame associated with anything sexual- including private desires.

The girl... Well. No real consequences, that I know of. I mean... I was 7, so maybe she was grounded or something, but it stayed in the family, so to speak. 8 years later, the two families met up for dinner, and no one thought anything of it. No one thought of me as a victim, thought anything of putting me at a dinner table with my abuser... I'm pretty sure hey didn't even remember until they saw how uncomfortable I was. The place was pretty empty, so they asked if I could sit at a different table...

My parents have since apologized profusely- and I've forgiven them... But that's the stuff I learned was normal, growing up. The kind of treatment I could expect any time I was ever the victim of abuse of any kind.

And lo, in college... I took a lot. From shitty friends who tore me down... No one cared, and I was expected to laugh along, and give back as bad as I got. From girls who thought my discomfort with sex was funny groping not me at parties or tackling me... Each sexual assault ignored or written off because I was male. From the one who actually raped me.

I'd been with my first girlfriend for a year and a half, and it was getting rocky. She wanted to explore other options, and her bi-curious side. She'd tried to break it off, and in hindsight... And being first love, I... Did not take it well, and as part of my bargaining, offered to open the relationship up.

A bi friend of hers- also in a monogamous relationship and tired of it- saw opportunity... And although I'd turned down previous advances... Well. Who knows what I'd go along with if I were drunk enough, and we had a movie night party coming up... She offered to handle drinks, and I was never without one.

By the end of the night- I was drunk enough not to be able to walk unassisted. I suspect I may have been drugged, too... I'd never felt that out of it before in my life, and had developed an erection that didn't quit until well into the following morning.

Convincing friends that I'd be ok wasn't hard- they'd see me home. Convincing the gf that I'd be into it wasn't hard- I was a guy.

When I turned out, a few days later, not to be ok with it... Well. That... That was harder to convince anyone of.

My trauma earned a high five, derision and "that doesn't happen to men" from a school counselor, and... 10 days later (and the day after valentines) a break up I couldn't say no to.

And that cost me all of my friends, of course... Because we were in the same circle, and I was such a mess, no one wanted any of that shit. I'm still not sure I blame them, given that most of them had no idea why I was that much of a mess... But there it is.

The more I appeared to hurt, the more I lost... Until I had nothing, and tried to kill myself. Stopped eating. Stopped showing up to classes, or even leaving my room. Tried to kill myself again, but couldn't even do that. I was empty.

Recovery started with Stargate... I got addicted, and getting the next disc from the one friend who gave a shit... gave me reason to leave my room. While I was out, I'd even eat. I crashed out of college, hard. Mountain of debt, check. Degree, no joy.

I carried it in isolation for 10 years before I was willing to risk speaking about it again.

When I did... I wasn't alone. In fact, several of the first people I told had similar experiences.

I'm in a good place now... I've healed enough to start trying to provide the same support to others that I didn't get.

2016-06-25T12:21:11+00:00

When I was in college this chubby girl got me drunk and high while she stayed sober and then proceeded to have her way with me. She knew that I had a girlfriend! I regretted it the next day so that must've been rape... no wait, that was just me making a bad decision. It happened a lot.

nottakashi · 2016-06-27T06:24:44+00:00

Does it count if the rapist is a man?

FollettoBurbero · 2016-06-25T13:13:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Any men willing to tell their rape story?
Author	Pantomchap
Upvotes	30
Comments	22
Date	June 25, 2016 6:43 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4prezg/any_men_willing_to_tell_their_rape_story/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/any-men-willing-to-tell-their-rape-story.946708 https://theredarchive.com/post/946708

Comments