Should dads-to-be have the right to opt out of parenting?

-er · 2016-04-03T06:23:41+00:00

I don't like the idea of opt-out for fathers. It's better than the current model we have, but I would rather see a policy where fathers opt-in. This prevents the mother from withholding her pregnancy or even birth from the father in order to seek child support later. Of course she doesn't ever have to tell the father anything, but this means she is solely on the hook if she decides to keep or abort the child. In order for a father to be financially responsible, the mother must have the father sign a form stating he wishes to be a guardian and financially care for the child. It should be assumed by the mother that the father will not care for the child unless he specifically states he will, so if a mother doesn't want to care for the child herself, she should opt for an abortion. I also think the parenting agreement the father must sign should have the ability to include a clause that states that a paternity test must be conducted before the father is responsible for the child. When a paternity test is performed, if the results come back and the child is not the father's, then he can opt out of child care at that point. In this case, the father is responsible for the cost of the DNA test unless it comes back that it is not his, in which case the cost is deferred to the mother. If the mother chooses to have an abortion, the father should be required to pay 1/2 the costs of the abortion. Again, if the man believes he is not the father, he can request the DNA of the aborted fetus be tested at his cost. If it comes back an he is not the father, the cost of the abortion and DNA test is deferred to the mother.

JasgerP · 2016-04-03T12:34:28+00:00

The issue with having dads be able to opt out of parenting is that some of these children would be living in poverty if the single parent can't afford the child on their own. You would have to come up with a way to make sure those children are financially supported, otherwise I don't see these laws changing. If a successful way to do so can be found, then it's possible for change.

2016-04-03T02:02:57+00:00

Parenthood should be a choice. Consenting to sex is not consent to make a baby, and it is not consent to 18 years of financial support.

blueXcat · 2016-04-04T02:49:03+00:00

I'm very tired because when I tell that to other women, they end up saying a guy takes the risk when he agrees to have sex. Same should apply to women than

And when you say that, they accuse you of controlling women

logix425 · 2016-04-03T15:35:43+00:00

Wow, this is big.

Not the proposal - "financial abortion" or fatherhood opt-out has been an MRA issue for as long as there's been an MRA. The fact that it's getting coverage in a relatively mainstream newspaper - and that the coverage isn't of the "shame on evil men! Deadbeats! Deadbeats!" variety that usually accompanies any mention of male reproductive rights.

Of course, the version they're proposing isn't ideal - it's "opt-out," and the nature of pregnancy means that a predatory woman trying to rope in a father without his consent could simply conceal the pregnancy until after the deadline, then spring it on him. And even the advocates are pushing for it to be "complex and expensive," not out of necessity, but as a punitive measure to poor men who mistakenly believe they should have reproductive rights just like the wealthy. (?)

Problems aside, the simple fact that this proposal, and that this coverage, exists, is a wonderfully positive sign in the usually bleak landscape of male reproductive rights.

mariox19 · 2016-04-04T18:23:03+00:00

The man was 48. He had been single for a while. Through a dating network, he met a woman who was 38.

PSA: A childless woman in her late 30's, more likely than not, has babies rabies. You would do no worse trusting a mad dog not to bite. No matter what she tells you, wrap that rascal!

hackableyou · 2016-04-02T23:04:49+00:00

I realize this isn't the opinion of all mras, but I don't think either gender should have the right to give up their child.

However, if we are gonna go ahead and give women the right to murder her children because she decides that her sex should have no consequences, then we should let men have the right to give up their responsibility to their children.

VernonMaxwell · 2016-04-02T21:51:31+00:00

If the mother chooses to go to full term or to kill it, then the father should have the right to opt out of parenting if he didn't want the child, and the mother did.

If/when I make the choice to have sex, and impregnate a women, that I expect to parent and take care of the child no matter what though. I personally don't believe in killing the fetus.

Title	Should dads-to-be have the right to opt out of parenting?
Author	skymod1
Upvotes	47
Comments	58
Date	April 2, 2016 7:39 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/4d2yi1/should_dadstobe_have_the_right_to_opt_out_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/should-dads-to-be-have-the-right-to-opt-out-of.952688 https://theredarchive.com/post/952688

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