Hey TRP community,

I am 17 years old and from Germany. I swallowed the pill a few days ago and couldnt stop reading topics regarding the red pill. I am currently in a relationship, which started 2 years ago. At this moment, i am happy with the relationship. Even before reading about the red pill, i was somehow different in the way i interacted with my girlfriend than other friends in my age. I discovered through Marilyn Manson philosophy of Nietzsche and his Übermensch and also Anton Laveys satanism, which preaches the teaching of being a independent, intelligent, educated and free human being. So because of this background, i wasnt interested in normal western girls. Especially here in Germany, they are very inmature, bitchy, arrogant and dumb. They look all the same and are only after money, social status and short term fun (nothing new to you red pillers). My girlfriend, on the other hand, is very polite, loyal, lovely and different. She is from Russia. Like me, she hates the typical German girl but also the typical German fuck boy. I could really imagine a future with her. The relationship is stable. I would say that she loves me more than i do love her. One of my very few alpha traits is my behavior with my girlfriend. I dont show her much love, i am very distant, i dont write her much and the only way i show her love is when i hug her and kiss her on her forehead and whisper i love you. But other than that, i am in the position where i am not bonding too much with her. If she does something which i dont like i act very cold and i am giving her the vibe, that i dont need her the way she needs me, that i can live alone or search for a new girl. My problem with this whole situation is, that the older our RS gets, the more i love her and bond with her. Sure, i am young at the moment and there are many girls out there. But if we stay together for a decade, a breakup would destroy me. Now to my problem: I have read some stories here about guys, who had a happy marriage for years and childrens with their wives but suddenly, their wives begun to act bitchy and would cheat on them. Since i am a young guy, i dont have much experience. I think that my girlfriend is special, but dont we all think/thought that? Are there "true" women in our society in which we can trust and expect loyalty? But my girlfriends family is rich and i dont have money, i dont look very attractive. The one thing she really likes about me, is that i lift weights and look more muscular than most guys in my age. Also, she liked that i act like a provider and that i care for her. But maybe, that is the problem?

BTW sorry for my English. As mentioned before, i am from Germany, so i am not a native English speaker.