My wife is an untreated bipolar. She is sometimes verbally abusive to the kids (and me). She also has jumbo size episodes that involve a lot of screaming--the last one ended up with me in jail because, as the cops said, "One of you has to go".

Charges were eventually dropped because, uh, I didn't do anything! She was the first to say that all I did was try to stop her from scratching me up, and did nothing to hurt her. Obviously I never attack her or egg her on, but the neighbors heard and so the cops took me in. But this is the final straw. Turns out I don't love being in jail.

I learned about domestic violence safety plans when I was being evaluated by the state. This idea sounds awesome. You cook up a plan where all parties agree, for example, what happens when tempers flare. Obviously my choice is to get out of the house with the kids but my wife will physically attempt to stop us... and did I mention that I don't like jail? I no longer have the option of trying to get out of her grip because that's assault. (As is her trying to prevent me from leaving, of course, but this is a very pro-woman state.)

As I understand it you get the safety plan notarized or even file it with the local law enforcement, so that you have an arrow in your quiver you explain what's going on.

The safety plan is exactly what I need. My kids were also delighted by the idea. I even asked my wife to choose a counselor to write it, but just as she won't take her meds, she won't choose a counselor.

(This is a problem because when we had counseling before she said they were morons and that they were out to get her because I had chosen them, so I am always encouraging her to find one herself.)

I can literally find no one in the Seattle area (or, ideally, Eastside suburbs) who knows anything about writing one for me and the kids. They only know how to do them for women. Anyone have any recommendations of someone who can help us all draft a safety plan together?