Im 16 and I need to change my life. My life rn is making me depressed

Coolguy1699 · 2018-05-13T21:46:29+00:00

Listen man I'm 17 and TRP have turned my life around. I started to go to the gym and almost all of my problems got solved. I know that this shit sounds ridiculous but the gym is going to change your life for the better. You get more confident witch, in turn, will lead to more girls. Start by going to the gym, make your bed and do your homework

You say that you wan't to change but you need more than that. You need something that motivates you and drives you, something or someone that you hate or want to become.

My father is my drive, he hated me, beat me up with a baseball bat. He pushed my mother and beat her and I couldn't do anything because I was too weak. He never showed any affection or love towards me. I still can't do anything because we are financially attached to him.

That is my drive, you need to find yours.

P.S Read the sidebar because all the solutions to your problem lays there

Iwannachokekatie · 2018-05-13T21:40:13+00:00

Hit the gym.

That was the begging of my voyage into self-improvement.

[deleted] · 2018-05-13T21:34:20+00:00

You remind me of myself before finding TRP.

You don't have to know how to stop doing these bad habits. Simply do it. I recommend cutting these habits cold turkey for a month and if you feel like you want to continue, exercise it in moderation. Find good habits to replace the bad habits with.

In terms of studying and getting good grades, go into it with an objective don't just sit there mindlessly scanning the words. Set a goal to understand a topic or something specific and do so.

It comes down to just doing things no matter how hard it is (also the hardest part in doing things is usually starting it) and soon it will become a habit and you will enjoy it (just like mastering a video game).

Set goals. Make life a video game. You'll be killing it sooner than you think.

ajs_rb26 · 2018-05-13T23:10:04+00:00

You’re actually in a great position right now. Congratulations for finding this sub at only 16, there are people much older still lost, confused, and depressed. You’re problems at this point are easy to fix. Don’t want to play video games anymore? Sell your game console, you’ll make some good cash and completely eliminate your problem. Don’t want to watch porn anymore? Remove your computer from your room, block it on your phone. A lot of people will say to instantly hit the gym, instead I would advise to get involved in a team sport. Team sports allow you to meet new people, set goals, learn to work with people, and instill a sense of competition and dedication. Once you have that I would then recommend to hit the gym, because now you have a good reason to go; to be better at your sport. Develop a routine, go to sleep and wake up at the same time everyday. Start reading, read the sidebar, read actual books too. Start with subjects you’re interested in. If you start doing these things you will start changing your life. You’re only 16, you have a lot of growing to do.

Roadhouse1984 · 2018-05-13T23:31:41+00:00

Add one positive habit per week which is either an improvement or a lessening or elimination of a negative habit.

Multiple threads you can start in parallel:

Stop being a fatty. Make it a goal to go to the gym even for just 5 minutes. It won't do jack shit for your fitness per se but going from 0 to something is harder than going from 60/100 to 61/100. Make it an explicit goal and feel free to quit and go home once you do 5 minutes. Complete this goal and aim for 6 minutes next time (although realistically don't be a pussy and make it 10 minutes to please the 5 min increment gods).

Eating bad food? Make it an aim to cut out nighttime snacking one week. Next week get a healthier breakfast. Next week do a healthier lunch. Week after do a healthier dinner. Willpower weak? Stop buying shitty food that will harm you and it will be harder to get your fat ass up and go shopping for shame food than it would be to just grab it from the kitchen. If you can't help it and bad food is around ask yourself: what has more willpower? You or the donut??

Play video games too much? Identify which ones have you caught in an addiction loop doing the same exact shit over and over that you don't even enjoy anymore and just play because you feel like you have to or are chasing some high. Play that 8 hours a day? Play it for idk 4 hours a day next week. Week after that 2...until you eventually cut it out to 0. Think about what void it fills (probably fills some psychological void like feeling more powerfu, social, or more athletic than you are in real life. Enjoy video games as entertainment? Target a single player game with a finite end like the Drake shot etc. Avoid multiplayer like the plague for now. The one exception I would add to consider is if you are establishing or maintaining friendships in real life and you get to do multiplayer or coop with those people vs nothing else social that night...then do that but do not slip into making it your part time job. 1-2 hours in the evening once or a few times a week is perfectly normal to hang out by proxy with people whose company you enjoy. Even better if you can play in person shit like Mario Kart or even some shooter if you have a large enough TV for a split screen. The key here is to emphasize the irl social activity aspect (online strangers do not count) and not to use it as an excuse to enable your addiction. Reshape your enjoyment of video games in a healthy way and you will find it easier to do without them by choice or ideally by better things occupying your time instead. You will form closer bonds with irl friends or coworkers if you primarily game in that context. You will find it easier to do non video game irl shit with them. And you will not act like a shy heroin addict in danger of a relapse if some girl wants to play some pussy friendly games with you like Mario kart or whatever. It's a better plausible excuse to invite her to some alone time so you can give her some dick than no non-sex activity you can suggest.

Try to do mindfulness meditation and try to analyze some of your behaviors you want to change and try to find out why. So much of what adults (you're practically in the adult category in a lot of ways) do is to somehow replay or fix childhood traumas.

Are you legitimately stupid? Stop being stupid and read non-fiction books about subjects that interest you like history, astrophysics, engineering, horticulture...whatever...listen to podcasts that aren't cucky NPR shows or whatever or at least don't let them be your go to unless you have a strong foundation to take them with a grain of of salt or as oped pieces to know what the mainstream thinks. Listen to audiobooks if or when you are not a poor. Science says they are as effective at conveying information as physical books.

Are you not funny? Acquire social intelligence to realize when a situation is absurd. Practice pointing out this absurdity. Learn the scales and ranges of things so you can agree and amplify or take something to the extreme to point out its ridiculousness. Listen to comedians (pandora or spotify or some radio where you don't have to consciously hunt for material is easiest). That's all being funny is. Practice it and you will be able to do it in the moment and appear witty and only you and I will know that you're a fraud who followed a checklist (jk- you will have acquired the funny). Steal jokes. If someone recognizes them then all the better and you can both engage with the source material. If someone angrily accuses you of stealing something like you're an unoriginal fraud then point out that you stole it from them and they from someone else. Very few things that humans think are truly original (just look at r/dankmemes). It is normal to steal jokes and thoughts. If no one recognize the source material then all the better and you can seem funny. Avoid puns unless they are extremely witty and in the moment. A joke 2 days later is not a joke. Fuck puns and prop humor. Puns and props don't spark no convo and can only serve to dry a pussy up.

The long road ahead is hard. There are no shortcuts. If you try to take them you will be a weaker version of yourself. You will fail. You will have times when you binge on shame food. You will be rejected by girls a lot before and after you can remember success with them. You will lose 20 pounds and gain 5 again or not lose any for a month or several. You will relapse into playing video games. You will get injured when exercising. You will be a dumbass about it and resume exercise before your injury is healed. Realize that no one is perfect and setbacks will happen. Accept this and never ever give up. You will fuck girls, you will be in shape, and all your shit will be tight. You will be the chaddiest version of yourself you can possibly imagine right now and you will still not be done putting in hard work to improve. You know when the finish line will be? When you are dead. Do not give up before then.

Tl;dr: Change or replace bad habits. Add new ones. Place it and set low expectations of yourself each week. This way you will be able to meet them and keep the snowball rolling.

Now go and crush it.

PerfectOffice · 2018-05-13T21:33:10+00:00

!remindme 1 day

TheTittyBurglar · 2018-05-14T11:46:13+00:00

No use helping i’ve seen this same odd individual post this sob story Wanting changing constantly making new accounts I swear I see a post like this all the time never responds to feedback and it just is fruitless, anyone else think the same?

301niko · 2018-05-13T21:37:40+00:00

What music u listen to? Learn an instrument? Start producing music? Video editing? Photography?

gains_o_clock · 2018-05-13T22:04:28+00:00

bro I think I was like you and I'm glad you're taking the first step to come here and improve yourself. First thing first: start lifting. Starting at your age will be super beneficial. Follow a good program on /r/Fitness or if you can't afford a gym try /r/BodyweightFitness This will help an insane amount the gym teaches lots of life lessons.

Next, you need to read /r/TheRedPill sidebar. All of it, and read their top posts too. It will take a while to understand everything but sooner or later you will understand. Not only that, you have to implement it in your life and believe it. 16 is a fine age to start. You may not like a lot of what they say, and heck even I disagree wholeheartedly with some stuff on there, but take in most of it and take it to heart. This becomes easier once you start to implement it in your life and see changes in your life and happiness very soon after starting.

For your video games and crap just stop. Try cutting your time down a huge amount or stopping altogether. Go outside join a sport or clubs. Make it so you don't have time for video games or other useless stuff. /r/NoFap is really helpful read their sidebar if they have one and their top posts as well. Go and experience the world. Eventually you'll find your passion. It may take a while, and that's why you have to dip your hand into everything the world has to offer to see what you like. Never say no to social outings etc. and spend more time with family and friends. If your friends are like you, screw that and try to make some better ones that will improve you. Joining sports and clubs in high school will allow you to do this much more easily.

Also, do your homework and study, work hard and don't give up and your grades will show it. In middle school the cool kids were good at sports and had cool clothes and were rich. In high school you need to be good at sports, funny as hell, and/or really smart (but not a complete nerd) to be popular. Trust me, I'm seeing it now. Be smart and people will respect you. They know you're gonna be making more $ than them soon enough.

Good luck bro. You got this and we're here to back you up.

curtainrodman · 2018-05-14T00:19:22+00:00

Start lifting weights and exercising. Hang out with your friends more. Take up music or reading or something productive. Stop fucking watching porn. Video games, porn, and a shit sleep schedule are all fucking you up and holding you back. Say “fuck that” and improve yourself. Start exercising, take sleeping pills to get to bed on time, unplug your console, and, perhaps most importantly, talk to people more. Talk to your friends.

Hussy68 · 2018-05-14T00:39:22+00:00

You have to figure it out yourself. Do you want to be a disappointment for the rest of your life. Put one foot in front of the other, go to the gym, eat right and do well in school.

[deleted] · 2018-05-14T04:17:40+00:00

Hitting the gym is one of the most important things you can do, helped me stop playing video games a lot and with the fapping. I would also be able to have time to study because I would no longer do that. It would also help you get fit and you can find lots of diet online like low carb, keto, other things of the sorts and work out plans too. For the whole social thing, if you have a group of friends doesn’t matter if they’re beta or alpha just hang out with them more so you don’t stay home as often and you’ll gain more confidence by going out more. Best of luck to you bro.

chazthundergut · 2018-05-14T04:31:29+00:00

Develop discipline. Discipline is the cheat code for a man's life. It is your strongest and most valuable tool, by far. It is the thing that will make you rich, make you successful, make you smarter and stronger and faster, and get you laid. How can you develop Discipline?

Wake up early. Every single day.
Work out. Every single day.
Master your body. You control what gets put in. Eat fresh meat and produce. Get rid of processed foods and sugar. Avoid alcohol, tobacco, and drugs. Build your temple.
Master your mind. Get off of social media. Get off of the quick dopamine hits that have paralyzed your mind. No more porn. No more videogames. No more compulsive checking of social media, no more mindless hours on Netflix and YouTube.
Master your domain. Clean your room. Make your bed, wash your car, fold your clothes. See that pile of papers on your desk? Take care of them. Not tomorrow, not on the weekend- NOW. Develop a mindset of getting things done IMMEDIATELY as soon as you think of it.
Organize your life. Make checklists. Sit down and think of all the things you need to do. Don't leave it all to be a dark mysterious cloud of anxiety- look right at it and start writing down the things you need to do. And then just start doing them. Tackle them one by one, and cross them off your list. I also recommend you get a daily planner/ calendar and start using it.

You have the opportunity to set up your life so that you start ahead of or quickly surpass almost every person you know. And all it takes is some simple planning and the discipline to see it through.

Now get after it.

throwinghthisoneaway · 2018-05-14T04:32:18+00:00

You can read all the advice you want read all the self help you want. Read read read. Nothing fucking matters until you act. Act. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell God everything you want to change about yourself. Dont degrade yourself. Put everything on paper you want to change. Write it down. Get outside or go to the mall. Practice looking people in the eye and ask yourself if they look happy, sad, bored, depressed. Look for people that seem like they know what their doing. Study their body language. Look at a fat dad with a beer gut and ask yourself if you want that in your future. Dont go around judging people, thats not what im saying, im saying look for people to emulate, then act that way. Do it or dont you ALWAYS know when youre doing the right thing

mojokabobo · 2018-05-14T06:07:03+00:00

One thing to find motivation to quit playing so many video games..

You know all those characters that you've created on those games? All of the levels that they've gained in various skills? All of the matches you've won?

None of that means shit.

Go out and level yourself up. For every hour you spent on the games, that's an hour you could have been cycling/jogging/lifting/exercising. Do you spend an hour a days playing games/fapping? If you spent that 1 hour a day exercising, and doing it with real commitment, you would be a COMPLETELY different MAN in one year. Just imagine how much better than that you could be if you completely cut out ALL that stuff.

Level yourself up. Think of it that way. For every hour of weight lifting or w/e.. just think of it as grinding for the epic drop, gaining experience points for the next level, fighting alongside your guildmates in an epic raid..

If you keep playing the games, use some mental reinforcement occasionally. Remind yourself that the last hour of getting led to you losing experience points in your exercise statistics.

It's helped me.

[deleted] · 2018-05-14T11:44:47+00:00

Four of these problems are solved by lifting.

I’m 17, so there’s no excuse to not know how.

I remember when I asked my dad at 14 if I could get a physical trainer to help me because I didn’t understand anything.

He told me that if I went for a month, and still needed help, then he would get me a trainer.

Thank fucking god my dad used to lift because physical trainers are 90% of the time the most incompetent pieces of shit.

I learned so much in that month, it was an obsession and it still is learning what muscle groups are used and what lifts help you with what.

You can either lay down, talk about what you don’t know, or start being proactive and getting to work.

All good things in life aren’t handed to you, but a good place to start would be the /r/fitness sidebar for the routines and links to dietary actions, otherwise that subreddit is a cesspool.

I’m in high school too and the way to jumpstart your future is to study the fuck out of the ACT or SAT. If you’re one of the fucks that can’t be bothered to get a decent GPA (should be able to get a 3.5 by just showing up) then at least score well on the applicant tests and you’ll get scholarships that will save you from debt down the road.

Nib-q · 2018-05-14T16:38:30+00:00

Good luck man. Here's a couple of vids I found back in the day that shaped my mindset. Enjoy. part1. part2

aladdin_the_vaper · 2018-05-23T02:11:18+00:00

Hi M8 I came from r/Portugal and as you may know I am turning 18 and I am finishing the 12 year of school I will try to give you some tips I wish I've could told to the "Me from the Past"

-First of all, IMHO you must stop the bullshit gaming. I have played for around 3 years a shit freeware game semi-competitive (I would train every single day with my team and send around 30€/month to keep my self geared with the best of the best ingame items) then I moved to Steam where I have over 200€ sent im games I dont play anymore. And I look back and I think, what a twat I was. It is true that I have good memories (something I would call "good old times chatting on TeamSpeak with my team") but at the same time I am aware that all I was doing was wasting my time and money for what? For online kills in a game?

-Second and most important I found my passion, I've discovered that I love airplanes and after that I have been spending all my free team studying and improving my technique in flight simulators. Right now I am studying (self learning) some modules of the Airline Pilot Licence and It feels good as fuck knowing that you understand and master something with value. This love comes naturally and you should't force it in any way.

-Third, altought you still haven't found ur passion you can imagine some parts of your "ideal life", right? I mean, like being and healhty adult with a family and all that stuff. Well, work for it, try to eat healhty, workout but DO NOT LEAVE IT FOR TOMORROW.

Once you get the Second topic everything will just roll. I stoped gaming not because I wanted but because I was much happier studying aviation or Meeting with my "aviation" friends, all that gaming crap now looks like pure waste of time to me and I only game a bit if my friends invite me for a match or I am tired and go for a race before sleep.

-Side note, you are not at a crticial stage of your life, where "everybody" drink, smoke and fuck. Well, as someone that have been there, party on, enjoy this wonderful world, drink, try to hide it from your parents, pretend you are not going thru an hangover. Have Fun, but don't be reckless. Don't smoke! I will be completing soon 1 year as a smoker and it just sucks, you start to stink, your mouth taste like an ashtry, you will have awful nicotine cravings that make you fell like shit and all of that starts with "I want to fit in" mindset.

I hope I helped you one way or another. Stay cool

Title	Im 16 and I need to change my life. My life rn is making me depressed
Author	gueinibba
Upvotes	19
Comments	21
Date	May 13, 2018 9:23 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8j73op/im_16_and_i_need_to_change_my_life_my_life_rn_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/im-16-and-i-need-to-change-my-life-my-life-rn-is.97129 https://theredarchive.com/post/97129

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