We've been separated for a year and have arranged childcare for our son (5) with us each having alternate weekends and me collecting from school 2-3 nights a week.

My ex wants our son to go to a music club every Saturday. However this means that on the weekends I have my son, I can't take him to my mum's and to see his uncles on the Friday night.

We can go after the music club but it is a 2 hour drive and he will miss the swimming sessions I do with him. On the Sunday we already leave at midday so he can get to choir.

My grievance is that my ex is trying to intrude on the time I have with my son. She feels I am selfish for not putting his education first and clearly don't understand what a good education is.

I feel that my time is just as valuable and what I do with him is of equal importance as her desire for him to go to music lessons.

I don't even know where or how to begin to solve this. My son's education is of course important but then so is my time with him.

My ex's answer to his is that I should have him for more weekends to make up for the time he is at the lessons. My trouble with this is that I often have to work extra hours and do this at the weekend. I do it at the weekend because I finish work early on the days I collect my son from school.

Since we split my job has suffered because of leaving about 2 hours earlier than anyone else to pick my son from school. I make up the time but it's not really acceptable to my employer. Now I have my ex saying I should have more weekend time with my son so when do I make up the time for work?

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place, losing time with my son and being manipulated by my ex. It's stressful trying to keep everything balanced, my mum feeling she isn't being cut out by my ex pulling her grandson away and everything else.

How or what can I do to solve this? I don't want to be at odds with my ex but I can't see what I can do other than give in and accept what she wants.