u/NoddicalNarb's thread yesterday inspired me to write my own experiences with this so called "male privilege" that we apparently have. I'm not a Men's Rights Activist or whatever, but I figured my story is enough to make y'all think, because unlike u/NoddicalNarb, sometimes dealing with a nutty chick can completely backfire - even if you do everything right.

For some backstory, I was seeing this girl in 2010 when I was seventeen (she was a few years younger at 15). The entire relationship consisted of her crying that her parents were abusing her. I was young and inexperienced so I didn't see this as a red flag, and because I was the most mature and understanding one in my group of friends, they all agreed that I was the right person for her and could help her with her issues. In reality, her parents weren't abusing her, and Kids Help Phone pointed out that she may be suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder. This made sense, as breakup after breakup she'd claim she was a lesbian and that I was forcing her to go against her sexuality, only to come crying back months later, usually around the first week of July (on average it was July 4th) begging to "do things right this time." Her looks definitely played a role as to why I continued to let this happen. I also figured it would be hypocritical of me to turn my back on her, as I myself went through a rough patch before I met her and my friends never gave up on me.

After a few years of these repetitive cycles that always began in July, the chick finally assured me that try #3 was "for real" and she was done "being stupid." As predicted, this lasted about a month before she went off the deep end. One day she just started talking about wanting to go to jail and "needing a break from everything." Concerned, I hit up what I thought to be a good friend of hers. That "friend" happened to be her online lesbian fiancee, 2000 miles away, and I watched some random teenage girl in Oklahoma experience every emotion from anger to sadness in my Facebook inbox over the span of about half an hour.

As this all went down, my ex once again nope'd out of there and refused to answer my calls or texts, and blocked me on Facebook. A week later, I got a flurry of angry text messages from her claiming I was a crazy stalker making up stories to feel better about being rejected. This went on for a solid three weeks, and I remember spending entire days at the job I had at the time checking my phone every five minutes to see [name redacted] raging at me in her own delusional world. I would scroll up in our text message history and see this same girl talking about how much fun she had with me the previous night or discussing to go to concerts together. Now, she was threatening to get the police involved and telling me to kill myself. I was still 100% unsure what I'd done wrong.

Knowing that her father was a respected tech school instructor and reading story after story on 4chan of girls like this making up lies and getting away with it, I systematically spread my side of the story on sites that would be guaranteed to land inside her group of friends. Ideally, they'd see what actually happened between us and tell her to shut up about it. I included numerous Facebook and Text Message caps that can't be interpreted any other way - the girl was a complete psycho. And it worked. At some point her younger sister and I got in contact. She assured me I hadn't done anything wrong, that their family is well aware of my ex's issues, and I sounded like a really understanding guy who was just fed up of being treated so poorly. I genuinely felt bad for them because her sister shared some really personal details about the struggle of living with a family member suffering from BPD.

A week later, my ex called my mom's house to ask where I lived and what I did for work. By this time I hadn't slept with her in a year, and my mom was properly freaked out. I confronted my ex in person about this, and she proceeded to blame me for all of her life's problems before punching me in the face. This lead to another three weeks of delusional rage texts from her, sometimes coming at 3 or 4 in the morning. My buddies also came to me with proof that she'd been texting them as well. After she grew tired of this, she moved her delusional tirades online and began chasing me around the internet.

In March of 2014 her dad sent me a passive aggressive threat over Facebook, basically saying he'd get the cops involved if I didn't take down every mention of his daughter online. Keep in mind, their family already apologized to me and cleared me of any wrongdoing. He threatened police action, legal action, etc... And I never received a call from anyone. In July 2014 I got a message from a buddy saying [name redacted] had been texting him, and five minutes of Google searches later I found a whole host of my ex's delusional rants about me. Like u/NoddicalNarb, I spent a few days capping absolutely everything that proved my ex was mentally unstable and took it to the police, because I was tired of dealing with this. They were treated to 75 pages of crazy ex messages dating back to when we had first started seeing each other. I also included the messages where her sister sided with me, and the threats from her dad. I had to index the damn thing.

Local police assured me I'd done the right thing by coming to them and walked me through how to apply for a restraining order on the girl, because she'd had a previous history of domestic violence issues with her family and was well-known to police.

In court, her father, whom she'd bragged about assaulting numerous times over the years for simple things such as taking her iPod away, used the Tech School logo on his jacket to say [name redacted] essentially "didn't do nuffin'." My ex denied even knowing me. I was not allowed to use the 75 pages of her crazy messages because I "didn't bring enough copies," although her side was - a lone sheet of paper where I'd called her a slut - which I'm pretty sure was justified at this point. I was bullied into a mutual restraining order, some of the clauses of which could get me arrested just from posting about her in online support groups. So after my ex had manipulated me, cheated on me, and physically abused me, it was now against the law to even speak out against it.

I know b******t when I see it, so I went to the cops with the results of the court ordeal. They were freaked out, and I ended up talking with a female officer who'd dealt with my ex directly before. She too could not understand what I'd done wrong to warrant a mutual order gvien my ex's extensive history and assured me to take the matter back to court. Victim Services got in touch with me as well and offered me free counseling sessions - which would have required me to drive right by my ex's work. For about a month straight I was constantly using my breaks at work to call Victim Services and get instructions on what to do next so I wouldn't get arrested for going to counseling. This isn't fun at 21 years old when you just want to go home and play video games instead of work on legal documents (again) detailing an abusive and humiliating relationship.

The second court date was a mess. My ex's parents claimed dragging this issue back to court was "harassment". They said process serving, the act of a third party delivering the legal documents to them, is "stalking." They claimed my ex had been fired from both of her jobs because of me, which obviously isn't true. My ex's dad told a story of him going to my ex's former workplace and yelling at management for firing his daughter over being served a restraining order, and nobody blinked. The piece of paper with the adjourned court date on it, that I was instructed to write by the courthouse and include in the legal documents (I needed more time to serve her, she was a couch surfer) - that too was considered "harassment." Her father also told a story of taking the court documents to the RCMP and was told by them it was harassment - the same RCMP detachment that was actively walking me through the court process.

I was told by the judge to stop using the court system to harass a girl I didn't even know.

I'm still in domestic violence counseling, and doing CBT for post-traumatic stress. Where's this male privilege Tumblr queens are talking about? I certainly don't see it.

My binder full of material on this psychotic girl has grown to 100+ pages including all the legal documents and hand-outs I've been given from counseling. This gets dropped at the RCMP's feet the next time she tries to cause s**t.

http://i.imgur.com/iGI7KAm.jpg

And here's a sample of what's in this binder:

http://i.imgur.com/gWSHRL9.jpg