It's been 7 years (16 ~ close to 23 now) since I've been using the adult sex chats as a way to cope with the rejection I received, the bitterness,sadness and resentment I feel. The process goes as - Get on the sex chat side, scavenge thru all the bots selling shit, gays, fake women, pedos, to find the 2-5% of real women in the chatroom. The next step is to get her on cam, or to go on Snapchat,Skype,Kik or similar to strip and get off together.

Now, in those 7 years, I've studied and worked out. What I've achieved so far is that I'm on the verge of getting my SE degree, with some noticeable gains, nothing too special, but not bad.

Also, I've never been with a woman, in any way. I went on a few dates, got matched up with my friends friends, but nothing really sparked my interest. I was, and still am, often called senseless, rough, stubborn. I really liked "this one girl" (blergh, I know), but it never worked out. She was the reason I started to workout and actually care for my appearance, but still it didn't work out. Other women noticed, but I was blind to them. And then I jumped on the addiction wagon and started to medicate myself with those chat sessions which sometimes took an hour, but sometimes took 4 hours, which you can guess is pretty bad if you're trying to be efficient.

It's been 8 months since I've been trying to quit, and I'm failing hard. I had clean days, and the most I've done is around 10 days. That was when I started to work on a project I really care for, with a few friends.

I'm coming to this subreddit again to seek help with breaking the pattern. I turn to sex chatting when I'm overly sad, feeling lonely, even overly happy, I even then turn to my coping mechanism.

I am satisfied with how the rest of my life is going, but sometimes this "coping mechanism" ruins whole days, and I end up having an effective 2 hours, instead of having 7-8 and working out that day.

Fun fact - In those 8 months, I wasted an approx. of 500 hours. Scary number, but it's still growing.

I am now feeling ashamed because my parents gave me everything I need to succeed, and I'm wasting a big part of my time to this awful activity, and then I'm ending up being angry at myself.

I'm here because I believe that the red pill is not just turned towards women, but mostly self development.

I already posted, but it was badly put together.