I want to start by saying thank you to everyone for all the past advice and tips because due to taking your advice and tips, I had my very first plate ready and set but a lot of stuff happened, it's a long post but some advice will help. Thanks.

So I'll skip all the boring parts, I get a girls number on Friday, go on a date Saturday, tell her on Sunday I don't want a proper relationship (we agree on FWB). Now she texts and sends me pictures everyday and says she wants to have sex, so next sunday I call her over.........

Let me just put something in here, this girl isn't bad looking but when I saw her I didn't think to myself "I'd love to smash that" but I talked my head into it as it would be my first time. She comes over and it start's off but this girl is just being a little bitch, don't get me wrong I'm not an expert but constantly saying kissing here is wrong, this is wrong and just being braindead (no foreplay, no escalating anything). Before you say it's my job to escalate I know it is and we did escalate all the way but here comes the problem, I wasn't even feeling that hard, cause her handjob consisted of legit squashing and destroying my dick and I couldn't maintain my erection either!?. I had stopped porn and in the past when I have pulled girls no sex I have had a raging hard on and ready to fuck them, but with this girl nothing tbh and every time I got one it'd go away when I went to get a condom. It went on for a while and then I realised maybe I didn't even want this with her so I called it quits and she left.

I was reading some ex trp post from ages ago, haven't been on trp in a while but it said something about how "let you head do the talking" and this is referring to the head of your dick and if you have to talk your brain into it, then it's not worth it. Fast forward next day, shes sending me paragraphs apologising and saying how she has insecurities and needed validation, how she tried to hide them but clearly she couldn't hide them and how it didn't work, she's worried and insecure....... then she asks me when I'm free next, " I reply I'm busy and got exams and then I'm on holiday". She say's well "I'm here if you need to message"

I'm just worried and pissed off that my first time was such a fail that I don't want to game or try again for a while, I have been getting good and getting a lot of IOIs and this plate proved all trp theory correct but I failed and messed up so hard and she was just so "weird" that I just don't know what to do.

Do i call her over and try again? I want to stop gaming for a while. but at the same time my brain is telling me I pulled it off now I just need to find another good looking girl and do the same again. But a part of me is telling me if you fucked up so royally on this one, imagine on the next one....