I warn you in advance, I'm drafting this as I go and it's probably going to be pretty rough.

So. What is feminism?

We're mostly familiar with the experience of trying to talk about feminism, especially to feminists, and having them throw up one of the several innocuous-sounding dictionary definitions of feminism, or claim that "their feminism" isn't the same as what we're describing, or that we don't understand what feminism is. Some people call it "swordfighting a fart".

The reason they can do this is that feminism has no actual meaning. It's what's called an "empty signifier": a kind of symbol with no fixed definition that people can interpret however they want. And this is great for feminists, for two reasons: first, without any kind of rules or fixed belief or membership requirements, anyone can decide to be a "feminist", even if they disagree with all the other feminists about what that means, and second, even though there's no consensus, since they all use the same name, they get to look like a large, powerful bloc.

It's high time we nailed feminism down to a definition, and not the inoffensive, pollyanna one that some poor lexicographer had to put in the dictionary.

Let's start here: if it's an equality movement, why is it called "feminism"?

Ask a hundred feminists and you'll get mostly variations on a theme: it's called "feminism" because the struggle for gender equality and the struggle for women's liberation and empowerment are one and the same, and changing the name would erase the historic (and current) struggle faced by women seeking equality.

Of course, to believe that the struggle for gender equality and the struggle for female empowerment are the same, you have to believe that there is a rigidly defined gender group called "women", and that that group and ONLY that group is disadvantaged relative to every other gender group (which is usually reckoned to be just one, i.e. "men").

So let's put aside the movement for the moment, and focus on the ideology. An approximate definition for feminism the ideology might be the belief that women, and ONLY women, are disadvantaged by virtue of their gender. You could replace "disadvantaged" with "oppressed" if you like, but you get the point.

Incidentally, this one article of faith explains the majority of feminist thought. The idea that you can't be sexist against men is consistent with a belief in only female disadvantage. The idea that what appears to be sexism against men is actually sexism against women ("benevolent sexism") is consistent with a belief in only female disadvantage. Hyper and hypoagency are consistent with a belief in only female disadvantage. And all the whining and crying about victimization, no matter how petty or nonsensical, is perfectly consistent with a belief in only female disadvantage; what's more, it's perfectly consistent with the cognitive bias that would be created in the mind of an observer who believes, as a matter of faith, that they are disadvantaged, and that the only means to correct this is to identify every possible disadvantage and rectify it.

Another word that's been impossible to pin down is "patriarchy", so let's go ahead and define that too. Patriarchy is a hypothetical state of society in which women, and ONLY women, are disadvantaged by virtue of their gender.

Feminism, then, is the belief in patriarchy. Feminist, the person, is someone who accepts feminism, and feminist, the adjective, is pertaining to feminism, of course.

With this we can now define feminism the movement, which is something like the movement to empower women on the grounds of feminist ideology.

Why is the word "feminism" toxic feminism? Because in order to believe that "feminism" is an appropriate name for gender equality, you have to believe in patriarchy. You have to believe that men are not disadvantaged relative to women, and that therefore men have no problems that need addressing, and that sexism against men doesn't exist - which is, of course, sexist against men. Furthermore, you have to be a gender essentialist, because it does no good to say "men oppress women" or even "women are oppressed" unless you first accept the existence of rigid gender groups who all share the same characteristics; i.e. being oppressed or being privileged.

If you are a person who thinks that "feminism" is an appropriate name for a gender equality ideology, theory, movement etc. - particularly if you have heard and dismissed concerns from men that the name is exclusionary - then your feminism is toxic.

Therefore, if you call yourself "feminist", your feminism is toxic.

Furthermore, anti-feminism can be understood as anti-toxic feminism.

This is not to condemn all people who presently identify as feminists. There are, after all, people out there who identify as feminist who do not believe in patriarchy. The solution for them, and one I have long advocated, is to stop calling themselves feminists, because they're not feminists. They can call themselves gender egalitarians. Or humanists, if they don't mind being mixed up with those other humanists. Or equalists. Or Women's Rights Advocates. Anything they want, as long as it's an appropriate label.

Admittedly, by abandoning the label "feminist", they will lose the appearance of power and solidarity they enjoyed as self-identified feminists. But if they are not toxic feminists, they won't want to be empowered by or seen in solidarity with toxic feminism.

(minor edits for typos, word choice)