I cannot get this out of my head, and need to get it off of my chest. Two years ago I was accused of sexual assault publicly with no charges filed. I did not intend to get involved with this particular girl, I told all of my housemates that I was not interested, but she came on to me. After waking up alone, thinking the night had gone innocently, an article was published by the girl accusing me, without naming me, of sexually assaulting her, something that she has socially brought up to many people I have known, ruining my reputation. At around the same time I had a sexual relationship with another girl, which lasted a couple of months. This relationship was to my knowledge consensual, but for some reason I can't shake that I was accused of assault and it is affecting how I view this other relationship.

At the time I was attending a university, and now I am in grad school. It is haunting me, I want to think of myself as a good person, but I cannot shake the accusation. I feel horrible, I feel empty, dead on the inside, and I want to feel normal again. I don't think it is fair, i cannot do anything to resolve the situation, and it is affecting my current relationships with people. I am more sarcastic, I feel like a loner, I feel like at any point I can just be accused of rape and have my life ruined. It has been two years, but I know I can still be accused and have my life thrown away. I want to talk to someone, but I can't talk to my father or brother about it out of embarrassment. This is hell, I want to feel alright again.