MRA Glen Poole debates with a (feminist) Women's Aid spokeswoman - May 2014

BlindPelican · 2014-06-05T18:03:34+00:00

Ridiculous.

Male vs male IPV is the least common form of DV. And emotionally abusive patterns are highly prevalent with female perpetrators when the cycle doesn't reach a state of violence.

Ugh...

Marcruise · 2014-06-05T17:39:51+00:00

Just watched the whole thing. It was not good for the blood pressure. I've just had to delete quite a lot of verbiage because it's made me really angry, and I don't want to say anything I regret.

I'll stick to a salient fact, then. Here is the Home Office definition of domestic violence and abuse:

The cross-government definition of domestic violence and abuse is:

any incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening behaviour, violence or abuse between those aged 16 or over who are, or have been, intimate partners or family members regardless of gender or sexuality. The abuse can encompass, but is not limited to:

psychological

physical

sexual

financial

emotional

As you can clearly see, domestic violence does not require a pattern of controlling, coercive or threatening behaviour. The spokesperson from Women's Aid was mistaken.

Marcruise · 2014-06-05T17:01:33+00:00

Glen Poole is not an MRA.

ohyeahthatoneguy · 2014-06-06T00:43:48+00:00

Did anyone else start counting how often the women's aid spokesman slipped into the "woman good, man bad" routine? She keeps referring to the victim in every situation as "her" and "the woman". It seemed like every now and then she caught herself but you can tell she's made these points with a hard gendered line so many times that she can't help it. Does she not realize the entire talk centers around the lack of action when men are the victim?

tjmburns · 2014-06-06T00:56:59+00:00

It's difficult to just focus on the deaths. Women are generally more fragile and not used to physical confrontation with anyone who would fight back. I have witnessed many women who just don't know when to give up and that sort of continued struggle is very dangerous when a violent person refuse to be restrained. When there are no escape for make victims and when women are not educated about behaviors they might not recognize as harmful, they can easily put themselves and their partners into very dangerous situations. I know regular readers of this sub will be aware of the rate at which women tend to initiate violence and the lack of education about self identifying abusive behavior, especially among teenagers.

rapiertwit · 2014-06-06T09:38:08+00:00

Franki Didntcatchherlastname said that when her organization was forced to add services for men or lose their public funding, not one man has called them for services. Then Poole got in a little comment about how they weren't doing the services right if men didn't want them, because the stats say there are definitely men who need help from domestic violence.

This exchange made me curious so I thought I'd check out their website. Bear in mind, they were told to offer equal services to men or they could no longer receive public funding.

Here are my suggestions for what they might change if they really wanted to get male victims to call them for help:

Don't keep calling yourself Women's Aid
Don't keep your old tagline "Women's Aid is the key national charity working to end domestic violence against women and children."
Your pink-on-pink website might be sending a message.
Don't have questions like "Does your partner blame his use of alcohol or drugs for his behaviour?" or "Has your partner ever forced you to have sex with him or with other people? Has he made you participate in sexual activities that you were uncomfortable with?" as part of your abuse checklist.

I saw the checklist mentioned above, and another list of abusive behaviors elsewhere on the site, and both of them appear to have been sloppily scrubbed of gendered language. On both of them the only references to the sex of the abuser or victim were in the last few bullets, as if they handed the job of de-gendering their information to some unpaid intern who got most of the way through and was like "ah, fuck it."

Advocates in the UK should call them to task again. They've obviously just paid the barest lip service to the order to offer equal services. Although... it's probably better that abused men don't go to an organization for help that is clearly being run in a spirit of contempt for them.

Title	MRA Glen Poole debates with a (feminist) Women's Aid spokeswoman - May 2014
Author	ShitLordXurious
Upvotes	8
Comments	10
Date	June 5, 2014 4:20 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/27e551/mra_glen_poole_debates_with_a_feminist_womens_aid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/mra-glen-poole-debates-with-a-feminist-womens-aid.999638 https://theredarchive.com/post/999638

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