An open letter to all my male friends

oshout · 2014-05-30T22:12:10+00:00

I think women have it much worse than me as far as being molested or aggressed upon or feeling generally more insecure in their surroundings .

That said,

I think a lot of the things she's describing happen to everyone sometimes. Maybe not having someone causally molesting them from a passing bicycle; but rather at the receiving end of unwanted attention: physical, emotional or other investment- from both men and women.

I'm a tall, red-headed, skinny, yet relatively attractive (toot), nerd. I was bullied in school but adapted, learned to fight back, not just physically. I take martial arts in my adult life and feel relatively more secure because of it.

the author of the article seems to share my opinion that your reactions to those situations define you more than the situation themselves.

But i disagree that the solution is a requirement or expectation placed upon others. I mean, I agree that those actions are an indicator of a larger social construct (IE (problem=others) - but I think the solution comes from within.

So, my solutions:

if I were in that position- I'd consider a tazer, knife/blade, or other weaponry. maybe some sort of personal recording device. Take judo, or learn similar throwing moves which use a person being close to you. I think women's self-defense classes stress these exact situations. (ie, learn to hip toss someone who touches your ass).

Personally, I'd love to see some sort of self-defense robot / pet that followed you and kicked ass. Or maybe a personal, impenetrable shield. If something could realistically be devised I'm sure there'd be a huge market, I'd love to see grouper's hands get caught in bear traps that only police can remove.

i think the article is the author's catharsis, culminated by recent events. Perhaps she's a popular or well known? the article doesn't indicate.

! Oh because I don't weigh much my MMA partners are more frequently children and women. Women are not perpetually weak or incapable! (err, to mean, everyone learns/grows, becomes better and more able if they practice/focus). I'd like to elaborate but I'm off topic.

! oh, since we're being spyed on anyway, what about an app that tells the police what other phones are in the area, so when you push alert on your phone, a snap-shot of people nearby is noted. Police sort & gather data and show you the pictures of people that match your description. then just normal (?) investigation work.

beetle717 · 2014-05-30T23:52:31+00:00

Part of the problem is that we teach women to be victims in a very real sense. Have you ever heard a boy say "I can't do that I'm just a boy." Now what of "I'm just a girl" From a young age women are taught to play either the charm or victim/helpless card to get what they want while boys are taught to work for it. In that regard I do agree that women are at a disadvantage but that is slowly changing with each new generation.

DavidByron2 · 2014-05-30T21:56:05+00:00

Imagine if this was written to black people listing how white people get all nervous around them. If anyone posted stuff like this addressing any other minority group it would immediately and rightly be labelled as hate speech. This is not written by some "radical" feminist. This is ordinary "nice" every day feminism that is telling men they are all violent rapists.

Title	An open letter to all my male friends
Author	wrez
Upvotes	4
Comments	5
Date	May 30, 2014 9:24 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/26wpcd/an_open_letter_to_all_my_male_friends/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/an-open-letter-to-all-my-male-friends.999915 https://theredarchive.com/post/999915

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