I posted this in my Meyer's Briggs personality sub but thought I'd share here as well.

Onward and upward gentlemen. No matter your situation.

 

It's so weird. You start out just as kids. Figuring out life. I married an ISFJ at 23.

I know....far too young but what do you do in a Christian environment with the candle burning at both ends? Virgins as well.

Around the 2nd year in my wife began the journey of figuring out our personalities. As an ESTP I have to admit I had little interest especially answering all those damn questions. Answer this from a 9 year old you. Answer this one and that. Bleh.

Color Code, DISC, Meyers Briggs.......I began to dial in. Around 30 or so really settling in and figuring out who I was. Her too but you know ESTP's. ;)

Around 38 and at my 20th class reunion I was really settled into my career and although it wasn't lucrative in a monetary sense I really enjoyed my work in counseling and administrative work.

On the flight home.......just a sense of content but at the same time feeling held back. At that time I couldn't figure it out.

You see.....my ex is probably the most selfish entitles spoiled person you'll ever meet. She's even worse than an external personality because she hides it well.

All these years she hid from me that she didn't support me. Though all the signs were there. In my nativity, I assumed that us being virgins would be the one thread that would hold us together. Wow was I wrong.

Seven years ago today I'd have my world come crashing down. I'd find out that the one deal breaker for me so far as marriage was concerned would take place.

That my wife of 15 years at the time would step out on me.

Today marks a seven year anniversary of sorts.

Of course, my initial thoughts were divorce. I'd even go on to file and then out of thinking I could control things.....take it off the table. In the midst of trying to work it out we'd get pregnant for the first time in 18 years. (We had genetic testing done so I know my son is mine)

 

After all this she never changed. Still continued to pull me down. Still continued to be selfish and wouldn't support me or be happy for me. No respect and constantly a death by 1000 cuts.

This past April we finalized our divorce. My son is 3 and we split custody 50/50 and we co parent well together. I have no feelings for her whatsoever. I over turned every rock. Looked in every nook and cranny. I have absolutely no regrets and did everything I wanted and then some.

 

It's ironic that the person I fell in love with would eventually do the worst thing to me and then more. It's not easy going through a divorce with your toddler calling you her lovers name. It's not easy doing the right things when EVERYTHING in you wants justice. Wants to be heard by those that she lied to.

And yet, I made it. ESTP me made it. I didn't fuck it up. I was and am a ROCK to my son. Oh by the way.....he's me x100......his perception at this age is off the charts. A little me that I get to guide and help.

You see this ESTP is the Father he never had but always wished for. I got to right all the wrongs of not having a father. And I am the meat and potatoes to my son.

It's so crazy that the one that hurt you the most is also responsible for the start of being the strongest person. It's ironic.

Probably the craziest thing, and why I'm taking your time writing this......I ran into my EX with the one she cheated on. Interesting my son saw them before me. The coward lover scurried off and the EX came up trying to throw distractions at our son as he looked for him.

It was just closure I suppose. I had no ill will. What's done is done. Good luck to the dude.....if he thinks he can make it with her after her cheating with two men before him. Good luck.

 

The most ironic thing about this all......she never got to know ESTP me. And despite her death by 1000 cuts. Her constant belittling me and second guessing everything. I survived.

2022 is going to be the best year because I'll be rid of this weight that has held me down for so long. Today is the last hurdle. The shackles come off and it's onward and upward.

 

If you made it this far.......thank you for reading. I'm just processing everything. I'll be with my family today and really looking forward to moving forward.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Cheers!