A question

MyNewNormal808 · 2021-02-09T05:10:23+00:00

You need to talk to a lawyer in your area as divorce laws are different in different areas. In my state, it's a 50/50 state where they try to divide marital assets in half. I didn't have to pay alimony since we make similar income. For child care, there are a set formula where you plug in you income, # of kids, % of time you share for the kids, etc. and out pops the recommended amount. It does not take into account your bills, high cost of living, etc. I've seen child support exceed the net income of fathers. The only way to get the child support to minimum is to have 50% physical custody. Even then, I would be paying my ex about $100 per child each month. Why I would still have to pay if we're at 50%? Who knows. Again talk to a lawyer. Be prepared to lose a lot. If she hasn't had a job you'll be guaranteed to pay alimony and for a long time. If there's a chance of repairing the marriage, it'll be a lot cheaper.

PushinNShovin · 2021-02-09T15:49:40+00:00

Don't try to repair the marriage as everyone else always says. Get the hell out. Do it now to minimize the damage. You are looking into divorce, follow your gut. Don't even consider staying for the kid.

I don't know what state you're in but I can offer what I am expecting in my state per my lawyer's advice.

Judges start to think of granting alimony after about 5-6 years of marriage. Usually 1 year of alimony for every three years of marriage. So, in your case, it would be reasonable to assume you will pay alimony for three years. I would be safe and expect four. This gives her time to train and enter the workforce. Ten years of child support too. Based on your income, I would estimate that you will pay about $1,500 in child support a month. I can't estimate an amount for alimony since I won't be paying my wife. I am getting out early. Marriage is death.

Take the first step. Retain the lawyer, and get your life back. I truly wish you the best and DM me if you want to chat or anything; I'm going through the same thing you are.

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-02-09T13:44:38+00:00

> want to be able to see her at least 30% of the time

It's called parenting, not "seeing her". The mindset matters. Just like you need the mindset that you can parent your children 100% of the time when the situation calls for it. Imagine for a moment that aliens abduct the mother, because she is a fine specimen of humanity. All the parenting now falls on you. Of course alien abduction isn't a thing, but mothers do move away from the children, ghost the children, kick children out of their home, become incarcerated or hospitalized, and perish. Your children (and society) expect you to step up and be a parent 100% of the time. So once you've adopted this mindset, you can come up with a plan to parent 50% of the time.

> I am making about 72K and my wife makes nothing.

There are calculators online for each state (I'm assuming you're in the US). Spousal support is typically for half the duration of the marriage. Some states it lasts longer, or shorter.

> It will probably be an amicable divorce,

Every single man starts out thinking this is the case. You aren't the unicorn you think you are. Women excel at extracting resources from men, especially during divorce. Divorce is divided into two buckets: Custody and finances. Custody is where the contention is, and needs to be what you sort out first. Since finances can be done on the back of a napkin, if you can't agree to custody then set sail for trail. 95% of divorces are settled before trial.

Title	A question
Author	Longjumping-Layer210
Upvotes	1
Comments	6
Date	February 9, 2021 4:30 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/lfukya/a_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/a-question.817462 https://theredarchive.com/post/817462

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