Stbxw and I separated in June. I moved to Michigan from NC to clear my head for a few months.

Things got nasty. I was brutal with the name calling and just a complete asshole. She wasn't without fault either but I was much worse.

I moved back in October and we shared 50/50 of our 4 year old son. In early December we started talking about a reconciliation, things seemed to be going well until we were out todinner with her my son. He let's the cat out of the bag that a man named Adam has been at mommy's house and he took them to lunch. I asked and she deflected that she can have male friends. She then decided that it wasn't going to work with me and stopped the trying.

January I decided to get sober 100%, started eating better, hitting the gym 6 days a week. Jan 17th we meet at the park to hangout with our son and talk. She invited me over after that and we decided it would be worth it to try.

We were working on ourselves and our relationship. Ended up having sex a few times. Things were looking really great. Then Saturday she says she doesn't want to have sex and wants to slow this down. Sunday she says she can never forgive me for the things I said to her and we are off again.

That brings us to today when she told me 50/50 is no longer acceptable and she will "allow" me 2 nights a week with my son. I called her and she's being extremely cold, almost down right mean.

I know this relationship is over at this point. There is no way to be with a person that doesn't know what they want from week to week. I'm just venting here because I feel so low right. She's given me hope and taken it away now twice and I have to tell myself I will not allow a 3rd time. I love her so much and it hurts so bad right now.