Hello All,

When I went to custody court a year ago her lawyer made the same old argument that every man has heard. She hasn't worked in 8 years because she was taking care of the family and it was OUR decision for her to stay home. Even though the decision was made because she preferred to not to work and be a stay at home mother. At the same time I worked from home for the entirety of our marriage. Was there every day, cooked, cleaned, bathed kids, changed diapers, got kids back and forth to school, you know the normal parent things.... and was the sole provider. The typical play to maximize alimony and child support. She is early 30's, college degree and was working before the birth of our first. Then when the fear tactics started as I was running out of money to keep the process going because of legal fees, I had to cave. From what you believe should be a 50/50 split the courts think 70/30 is a good starting point... I am so tired of this same standard of living argument. I am in the basement of my parents with absolutely zero resources while she continues to live the lifestyle that I provided. I am fine with child support but cant stand how the system hacks up assets and determines alimony. Your choice to divorce your choice to figure it out. I have distributed over 200k in cash, not including retirement. I have less than 1k in savings left, pay about 5k in cs and alimony (24 months) monthly and live worse than paycheck to paycheck.

Anyway, since the court believes this is her full time job to manage the children which I believe at this point my resources fund this current career, I found out my child is failing two classes at school. When I asked him about what is happening he said he didn't know he had these tests and didn't study. On one hand I feel petty to be annoyed about this but on the other I feel like it's BS.

We do not have an amicable relationship, we just tolerate one another which is a huge issue that I am trying to work on, but between the way the marriage ended and how I was absolutely financially ruined it makes it difficult.