Crosspost "Dating algorithm" from /r/datingoverforty:

42f, and look young for my age. I’m fairly fit and attractive. I find the men my age on dating apps to look older and not age as well? I don’t mean to sound harsh - I know attraction is entirely subjective. And I know there are plenty of great matches for me out there. But I also think it is the algorithm. My theory is - Attractive, fit men in their 40s are looking for women in their 30s. Therefore I don’t show up in their feeds or they pass me bc of my age?

Curious if this is true? And if there’s a way around it. I don’t want to be deceptive and put a lower age to cheat the algorithm. But maybe I should?

And/or do I just need to manage my expectations and go out w men I’m not physically attracted to - which I’ve done a bunch of times by the way, and the attraction never seems to grow. Curious if others (both male and female) have done this with a successful outcome?

My experience (like so many people on here) when I do match w someone they often fizzle quickly. It seems like there’s a lot of attention deficit and looking for the next best thing. I don’t know a way to combat that. Open to ideas!

And to be clear - I’m not talking model, buff attractive. I just mean slightly above average. Other qualities such as kindness, honesty, stability etc are equally important to me. Thank you!

Posted by Large-Signal941 | 16 February 2023 | Link