Divorce Coach

SpacemanLost · 2019-11-26T18:00:19+00:00

I don't know that you need to hire someone to do that.

There's a lot of info online so you can start to do your homework. Start at http://www.realworlddivorce.com/ to get ideas and talking points.

And while you are at it, carefully consider your STBX and what you know of her - what she wants, her situation both now and likely after, what she is liable to fight for, what she is liable to agree on. Keep notes. And then make worse case scenarios.

If you have kids, give a lot of thought to their needs and the logistics that will be needed. Obstinately, the courts will put their needs ahead of yours and your STBX's. You want to come off as doing everything for them that you can.

But then you need to consult with an attorney. Put some effort into finding one with a good reputation for representing men/dads. Take all the notes and info you gathered and ask questions as they should know not only what the up-to-date laws and state guidelines are, but how certain judges that you might get are likely to rule and their biases.

Remember to be 'firm but fair' - trying to screw her out of what she is entitled to is likely to not go over well in court. On the flip side, once it's happening expect that her opening salvo might likely be asking for (demanding) the sun and the moon, so know where your lines are, what the state guidelines are and consider if you need to pull back from them so you have something to 'give on' in negotiations if you think she'll be hung on getting concessions from you.

Then consider all the logistics if the SHTF when she hears you want a divorce - quietly moving possessions and documents you need and can't afford to lose access to out of the house and to secure location. Locking down accounts and credit cards/lines so they can't be used (beyond the half of assets she is likely entitled). Consider what would happen if a false DV claim was made to get you out of the house. And so on.

All of this should go on quietly, and not tip your STBX off. You want to be prepared when the action starts, and do it on your terms as much as possible.

OMJ2SA · 2019-11-26T15:50:01+00:00

No. But I wish I had.

CarGuyM1985 · 2019-11-26T21:46:26+00:00

I did, she charged $250/hr ... oh wait that was my lawyer :-)

Title	Divorce Coach
Author	LandOnMyFeet
Upvotes	5
Comments	3
Date	November 26, 2019 1:44 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/e1y4en/divorce_coach/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/divorce-coach.818990 https://theredarchive.com/post/818990

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