41M here.

Recently started the amicable divorce process w/STBX. We are still amicable. She wanted 3 kids initially in '22 and I wanted 1. As we lived together I wound up taking on so much of the housework due to being a people-pleaser. As I went to therapy I realized what was going on and realized a kid would just crush me but her family had these expectations for us (helped us buy a house) to have tons of kids. I wound up doing 80-90% of the housework.

Even during therapy I asked her to read the Baby Decision with me and she didn't; the marriage therapist initially sided with her but after I provided more of the story she understood.

I figured it out and asked for a divorce. We are using a collaborative divorce approach and it's actually been respectful because we still care about each other as friends. It just didn't work out as a married couple. No affairs, no money issues, we had $ from prior lives and although we didn't sign a prenup we are both working w/our lawyers and they are being legitimately useful.

I'm staying active in my run club (shooting for 3:19:59 or faster marathon, PR is 3:20:01) and my Irish Dance studio. I will probably leave though, as her friends were told about this and most of them, if not all, are siding with her.

The irony is that my STBX has been more helpful and kind throughout all of this (even helped me move out and pack), while her family hates me. Because my STBX has actually been graceful to an extent I'm willing to still work with her!