41M here, wife is in her early 30s. Married nearly 3 years. Own house. I make 60k and she makes 45k. We get along well mostly but over the past few months I've decided I don't want kids after initially wanting them. Understand it may lead to a divorce and she and I have talked. What are some tips to get to amicable? It's just a disagreement (a big one) on having kids...I was open to 1 to start but after volunteering with kids, soul-searching, and healing my inner child I'm realizing I would love to be the cool uncle/see kids in short spurts (even up to a week or two). I don't hate kids, and like them, but I am seeing parenting is not for me. And I'd rather regret not having a kid vs. having one and then regretting it. Plus I do about 75-80% of the housework now as it is and work a full-time job. She works full-time too. We are both exhausted at the end of the week. I think it's a societal pressure that you get married, get a house and have kids "just because."

I don't want the house, and have no problem with her getting it. I just want to take my personal belongings (not many) I brought into marriage, start over, and move out into a studio apartment. Her family is also being pushy and wanting her to have kids. She wants to have kids b/c her friends and sisters are going to be having them. I know I changed my mind and it's a deal-breaker, and will accept all the consequences that come with this. I am doing therapy to heal my inner child/trauma but told her I still won't change my mind on kids. Her family hates me now too and I get that, but at least my family backs me.

Have read quite a few posts on here about guys coming through stronger on the other side. I know an attorney will cost $ but luckily have a bit of $ on my side saved up for emergencies.