Wall of text incoming.

Hey everyone. I’ve read so many posts on here, and now I find myself in the same boat as so many of you. I’ve been divorced for a couple of months now, but honestly, it feels like I was emotionally separated for years. I look back at pictures of myself from before and see someone who seemed happy and content. Now, I can’t even feel comfortable in my own skin.

I try. I wake up every morning and go for a walk. I try to eat right. But most days, I end up back on the couch watching TV, feeling stuck. I’ve gone out and met people, and for a moment it brings me joy, but as soon as I come home, it’s like I fall right back into the same rut.

I know I’m supposed to give myself grace. I know I’m supposed to be kind to myself. But every morning, it feels like I’m racing against some invisible clock and still getting nowhere. I don’t feel alive. I feel like I’m just floating.

I’m moving across the country in two months, so part of me feels like making new connections here is pointless. And the truth is, I’m scared I’m going to be alone for the rest of my life. I feel invisible. I feel unimportant.

I’m not even sure what I’m hoping to get by posting this. I just want to feel something again. I’ve done pickleball. I’ve tried meetups. I’ve done all the things people keep suggesting, and yet here I am. Most nights, just sitting at home alone, wasting away.