I've started the attorney interview process and tomorrow I have two consultations. But I'm feeling guilty and I hate that. I keep thinking about how upset my adult children, my parents, and even my STBX will be. Married for 25 years and I stuck it out for the kids. I don't want to retire with that woman but I don't want everyone around me to get hurt either. I remember my own parents divorce and yes I got over it. I know that pretending that everything is okay is wrong. I'm just really dreading the next 12 months. I can't help but feel like I'm being selfish by ending this marriage. But there is literally nothing that can be done to save our marriage because I can't stand her anymore. My skin crawls when she touches me. I just hope that one day everyone will forgive me and I can stop feeling guilty for breaking up the family.