Help me to get through this

No_Hurry1019 · 2026-08-16T08:04:45+00:00

I know the kid senses when I am exhausted.

Mother is definitely alienating the child.

Yesterday my daughter punched me and tried to trip me on the stairs.

A few days before, she threw animal feces on my bed.

I can’t do much about it apart from saying, “Don’t do it. Leave my room.” My wife would be quick to accuse me of abuse.

Mother sees this and says nothing. Then they just carry on doing their stuff and laughing together. It feels like I am being hunted by zombies.

My wife also regularly walks into my room, provoking arguments. For 10 months I have been telling her, “I am not going to argue.” Even my mother-in-law came to stay with us and they both tried. All it takes is one mistake and I could end up with an exclusion order and the police taking me out.

I just tell my daughter, “Don’t do it. Leave my room.”

It’s a nightmare for me, but I am an adult and need to be strong.

The kid is very much hurt inside. She might one day understand, or she might not. I cannot explain it to her because it would just make things worse.

It feels as if the mother is trying to erase the part of the kid that relates to me.

Unfortunately, apart from being calm and steady and getting the court involved, there is nothing else I can do.

I refuse to play the mother’s game. She is not right in her head. If I start explaining, fixing or competing, I will join the game she is a master at, and like a vampire she will drain my energy until I collapse.

One thing does not change: my soul and my honour. I will not get pulled into this dynamic, even if it means being a shadow in this house. I will give my daughter a good example no matter what.

The emotional pain comes in waves, but I don’t have to act on it. I ride the waves out. When I am exhausted, I withdraw and recharge my energy.

10 months ago I have collapsed (acute nervous system break down). During this time I danced with the devil, I have been burned with hell fire of anxiety and the devil whispered into my ear telling me to end my life - I did not listen and simply got quiet and slowed life down.

Every pain wave is smaller and I get stronger. Stronger I get the more severe is wives emotional poison - the child is weaponised.

Even if court gets involved, it can take at least 12 months, and potentially a few years, to resolve the current stalemate. I need to use this time to become unshakable.

I will never give up and never surrender,
because my child needs my example and also because it is the right and honourable thing to do.

Even if I am to die here - will not give up.

No_Hurry1019 · 2026-08-14T07:33:07+00:00

Sorry it was a typo. She is high conflict- does not abuse verbally but emotionally. Uses the kid. Wants me out to get house and primary care. Tried to bully me with he lawyer.

Recently kid punched me. Mother stands and does not care then is nice to the kid.

The kid broken inside. She can be warm one day and then as if the puts a mask on gets disrespectful.

Leaving would be relief not streight away - I probably would crash into depression for a while to decompose.

I am totally cut off from other people.

I am not giving up. But it so hard.

duuuuudesweeeeet · 2026-08-14T03:25:25+00:00

Feel like a little bluntness is needed on this one.

Your kids can smell your misery. Get out. Otherwise, you will continue to be miserable, and your kids will continue to be affected by it.

You can’t live under that kind of stress. You will 100% be a better dad after you rip the bandaid off and start healing. Your custody time with your daughter as a better you will be far more impactful than her seeing you miserable every day.

Any-Neat5158 · 2026-08-14T00:32:46+00:00

High confidence wife == wife who has dudes simping over her.

Life is going to fact check her sooner or later. It should be a surprise to absolutely no one (man or woman) that dudes are horny bastards and if she's willing and she isn't a total troll.... they'll smash.

Don't move out until the divorce is final. Record and make note of verbal abuse and any influencing she's doing to the children.

I really never understood why a woman gets a huge ego because there's some long list of dudes who'd slam it in her and then head for the hills. Like, it's male human nature... testosterone fueled, DNA driven behavior. Built into us to drive procreation. And shawty over there thinking "yeah, I'm a bad bitch huh".

Nope, you have the parts needed for sex and a lot of men like sex.

Title	Help me to get through this
Author	No_Hurry1019
Upvotes	2
Comments	4
Date	August 13, 2026 9:24 PM UTC (6 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1vnntrg/help_me_to_get_through_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/help-me-to-get-through-this.1632848 https://theredarchive.com/post/1632848

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