How do you guys deal with all of this? Wife hit me with divorce recently. I think she’s having a full blown mental breakdown but she’s already filed papers, I got served with them today. The terms aren’t horrible and could be a lot worse. We have kids, going to leave out the details of it all, but we have kids together.

Yesterday we had a decent friendly conversation and I told her I’d support her through this decision since that’s what she wants and she can’t do it all it all herself. I explained it’s gunna put a huge financial burden on the whole family, kids included because things are already tight on a single income with a family our size. But I said I’ll play nice because it’s just better that way for the kids sake. So I’ve been swallowing my pride and biting my tongue trying not to lash out in anger or anything like that. It’s hard and not of normal character. (It’s personal growth being able to be this way, but still hard).

Today, I got home late from work because I had to stop and help a buddy out after work real quick. And I’m outside having a smoke and she comes out and I asked her not to have plans this Sunday because I got invited to go over to a buddies house. (I haven’t been out much at all recently and have been isolating and it’s not healthy. While she’s been going out almost every other day with her friend or to various places and I’ve been paying for it all. I also paid to buy her plane tickets to go visit her family in another state next week) she just comes completely unhinged telling me I shouldn’t make any plans, because she already has plans on Sunday and I don’t even have any friends. And I’m like that’s uncalled for can you please leave, and she says no you leave, but then got up and left. Then she came back and apologized for being rude to me, and I kinda brushed it off said okay, can you just leave me alone.

Like I’m going through fucking waves and waves of emotions and it’s soooooo hard to keep my cool through all of it. Then she texts me tonight saying why didn’t I fight harder for her and just implying I’m to blame for everything and is taking absolutely no accountability of her own actions, issues and problems that contributed to all of this. I’m not saying I’m perfect but I’m not entirely to blame either. People close to us who have been around extended periods of times have seen how things are and see things for what they really are. But everyone in her circle has a questionable one sided perspective and haven’t been around to see how she’s been.

She is on a bunch of psych meds and has also been drinking a lot. History over the past 10 years has shown they don’t mix and she knows this. Shes had multiple mental breakdowns over the years. Almost in like cycles. Very first one I encountered was few month into us being married and she ended up cheating on me. We went to counseling and I gave her another chance. But this the first time it’s gotten this bad and to the point she filed divorce.

I have such mixed emotions, one second I’m sad, next I’m fucking just angry, next I’m just hurt and confused. I’m at a breaking point now that even if she reversed all this and said she wanted me back I wouldn’t take her back. She took it this far and I’m gunna make her hold to it. I’ve taken enough disrespect that I can’t keep allowing this.

I’m kind of all over the place, hard to stay focused atm. But damn, what can I do to help handle this amount of stress and just not lose my fucking mind through all of this?

TLDR: How does everyone handle the stress and emotions that come with divorce? How do you keep your cool and not lose your shit when you feel so angry and disrespected?