How to Prepare

sicrm · 2021-08-04T01:30:58+00:00

book a consult with a lawyer to get a good baseline.

then you can try meditation if you want but consider having a lawyer look everything over before you sign anything.

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-04T05:00:39+00:00

Do NOT mention divorce until you are secure in your person, property, finances, information, legal position, and possessions. Undertake all the necessary groundwork quietly. It is much easier to be in a strong position and then make concessions to reach a fair deal than it is to be in a weak position and fight for a fair deal.

Are your finances separate or combined?
What are the assets and liabilities of the marital estate?
Are either of you in a position to increase debt load or dispose of assets without the consent of the other?
If you determine you're probably going to be on the hook for alimony, will it be permanent or temporary, modifiable or non-modifiable, are you in a position to end the issue with a lump sum?
Who is your support network?
How is your job?

There is no way to predict how she will react to any serious steps or even perceived steps toward a divorce. Visualize the worst argument you've ever had and expect that or worse. Prepare and practice what you're going to say to her - how, when, where, etc.

And finally, think long and hard about whether there is some potential for reconciliation. If not, time's a wastin'

Historical_Button_34 · 2021-08-04T23:34:18+00:00

There is definitely a chance that things can go amicably, specially if there are no children or assets involved (I don’t know if the later is the case). The more things in common there are, the bigger the trouble. Just know that there are two sides of each story. Today I learned about the things I was doing wrong that lead for my STBE to ask for the divorce. And on my end there were things about her that she was not aware. I was surprised that we are working everything amicably, even though we hurt each other really bad in our last fight that lead for this decision to be finally made. As previous responses, just be aware what your responsibilities are (by consulting a lawyer) and before you mention anything to her, ask the lawyer how could you navigate this path peacefully. At the end, the less you make her feel abandoned might ease things up (I’m my case I told her I was not going to divide our credit card debt, which is our only debt). We had no assets to divide, and we’re open to have shared custody with no limitations on either end. We’re ending this on mutual agreement, so this helps a lot. So hopefully things will work out for you. Wishing you the best!

Title	How to Prepare
Author	Big4Brethren
Upvotes	4
Comments	4
Date	August 4, 2021 1:18 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/oxhq9i/how_to_prepare/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-to-prepare.816331 https://theredarchive.com/post/816331

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