Nee

Wow. Where to start. I’ve been married to my STBXW for almost 11 years. We met in the PNW before I deployed to Afghanistan. Well I got fkd up over there and came back early. We got married shortly after. Just a simple marriage enjoying life and all that. Fast forward a year and I PCS (move) to Texas to further my military career. I graduated and shortly after we moved to Hawaii. Been married a few years and had our ups and downs. While in Hawaii she really wanted to start a family because of her age. We had difficulty and had to do fertility. After about 2 years my daughter. I was overjoyed about being a dad and I thought it was the best thing in the world. During this time I started to get sick from going overseas and I eventually was medically retired due to my injuries.

This whole time she worked only maybe 1-2 years at entry level jobs even though she has a college degree with masters course work.

After I got out of the military we moved back to the PNW. I found a job fairly quickly as an LPN and worked while she stayed home. Later that year we had our second child my son. He had some serious health issues and it was scary but we made it. I continued to be the sole provider while she was a stay at home mom. We decided we wanted to move closer to family so we planned to move to FL later that year and buy a house.

I broke my butt working 80-120 hours a week as a disabled vet while she was a stay at home mom. We eventually moved to FL, bought our first home and started to settle in. I got a job and started working while she was still home. As the kids got older she went to work in the medical field.

We now were both working full time for the same company. I worked in management and she was at the office level. After a few years she moved over to an internal department to try and start a career in that field but after 9 months was terminated/laid off. She was supposed to get a severance they never paid but it is what it is.

This is where it started to go downhill. She didn’t work. Stayed home and really just caught the depression bug. Our expenses were more than the income combined I was making and I really wanted her to work. I wound up taking a personal loan for 25k just to cover the expenses. Eventually she got some BS temp job making 18/hr.

We just didn’t really connect anymore, looking for different things in life and for the most part just didn’t get along. I’ve always struggled with PTSD and bouts of anxiety/anger but I’ve been seeing a therapist weekly for over 8 years.

I’ve come a long way from the person I used to be to grow into a better person and father.

We decided divorce was the best decision and started planning on moving out. After six months we tried giving it another go but I just wasn’t in it. She continued to talk shit behind my back and said she put effort but never really cared.

Well she eventually blew up and we are proceeding with the divorce again. She was adamant about not going to lawyers because of the cost and we could work it out amongst ourselves. The whole time I’ve been paying 98% of the bills and pretty much live paycheck to paycheck on a six figure salary. We have a good life. New car. Nice house. Great area.

Well little did I know she was saving for a lawyer on the side while living with no expenses.

Thankfully I got my own legal counsel to fight back.

I offered to sell the house, pay off marital debts (80k) give her half my 401k, she can keep the car and I’ll pay 1500$ a month. At this point what more can I give? Over 10 years with nothing to show for it.

I guess the moral of the story is that you only have yourself and you should always be on the lookout.