I posted my story here a few times and I appreciate the advice I’ve gotten so far.

TLDR: my wife of 16 years, had an affair and left me 10 months ago.

I have issues with chronic pain, and I have some difficulty walking long distances, which was one of the primary reasons that she decided to end the marriage. I guess “in sickness and Health “didn’t mean anything to her…

Even though I’m doing better emotionally now than several months ago, the main area I still feel stuck is my confidence and self-esteem. I’m so scared and afraid that I’m not gonna be able to find someone else again due to my physical limitations . every time I have a pain flareup; every time my feet hurt while walking …it just reinforces this narrative.

Honestly, I don’t even care about her having the affair anymore. The real damage she did to me was all of the post hoc justification, saying how I wasn’t enough of a man and how all of my injuries gave her no choice that is what has been messing with my mind.

I’m trying to do everything I can take care of myself physically I eat very healthy. I’ve been to 1 million doctors. I exercise to the best of my ability but at end of the day at least for the foreseeable future if not indefinitely, I am going to have physical limitations.

How the hell am I supposed to deal with this? How can I feel better about myself and not be so down? How can I put myself out there with all this fear? I’m not even super old. I will be turning 40 in six months.