So I’m on my third marriage counselor with my spouse of 20+ years. She keeps finding fault because they “pick on her” and not me. (Maybe I’m not the problem?)

My therapist said people don’t change typically. Counseling is probably going to waste time and money, but go ahead if you want.

Wife wants a year of therapy solo before she can work on the marriage. We have no kids, no assets, same income, and are just toxic, but not intentionally. We never intentionally cause hurt. We just do cause it. Every time.

Tell me I’m justified in saying I’m done. I’m classic avoidant personality. It’s so hard to know I’m going to devastate her, but I can’t keep on this hamster wheel.