So Sunday morning about 3am things haven't been very well between us for almost a week. She's been distant. She wakes up around that time due to medication snacks maybe watches 30 minutes of tv or we are intimate before going back to sleep. She drops a major bomb on me. She found out in her therapy she's no longer bi curious but full on lesbian. She wants to separate and put her thoughts together but she's met someone by accident.

We both are recovering alcoholics. Im almost 11 months sober. She's at 60 days on this specific day. 30 days out of her third in patient treatment. I had signed us up for couples counseling to work on the issues the alcohol over the past three years did to us. Recreate a stronger foundation start out right. I tried to tell her Saturday after I completed my on-call assignments. We do late aa meetings together and separate and I had been working 11-12 hour shifts all week. She came home late Saturday I didn't know it but she was avoiding breaking my heart.

Its now today Thursday, tomorrow would be(is?)our 17th anniversary.I have been going through every emotion of grief because let's face it deep down inside the rational portion of me knows my chance of this changing are a percentage point or two. For my mental health I say I have a 5% chance its a phase like her voyeur sex party intrigue and she won't go through with this either. She stayed at her sponsors last night so we can both get some rest and time to grieve. Its very amicable and no resentment. She still has a lot of love for me and yes my lack of mental health help assistance was a factor but I know it was neither of our faults. Stuff just sometimes happens

What is needed is help navigating the immense amount of information and those resources that aren't behind a heavy pay wall for support groups online communities for men who have gone through what I am now and can give me hope.

As a member of AA I have found healing and help recovering with people who have the same experiences and it saved my life and relationships. I was hoping to find the same for this new experience. Yes I have had my first counseling appointment for this with a professional. I have a standing weekly 55 minute appointment for the next 8 weeks then I have to figure out how much I can afford at $105 a visit.im the only one with a paycheck at this point because she's still in outpatient for alcoholism. I also have three kids to support two having special needs and special needs means expensive.

Thank you to those who read this and let me just verbalize it again. Thank you to anyone who has advice or kind words. Its a lot more complicated than what I jotted down but that is the cliff notes of just what has happened in less than a week.