Just starting the process

nielois · 2024-04-05T20:28:43+00:00

I started my journey around 4 weeks ago. I can still feel that first week like it happen an hour ago. Look, ill be perfectly honest right now, it going to hurt. Your going to be all over the place from what did I do wrong, maybe I should buy this gift for her, lets do xyz.

I’ve learn that it takes two people to make that bridge meet. You did your part but for whatever reason. That bridge didn’t get built. I been pretty down overall. I’m down 24 pounds to date. The only joy i have is my kids.

The best advice and only advice i can give you. There is a tomorrow with you in it. That day might look bleak, that day is scary. But I promise you, the night will come and the next day will come. Don’t hide from those feelings and place them under the rug. Embrace them in the moment and place them on the shelf in due time. Just don’t keep them in your hands which keeps your attention on them.

Those feelings like everything else in life, will calm down as time does to stuff. The newness goes away. They start to crack and eventually you save them in a box or throw them out.

Focus on getting a place and to find a place to build. Keep your mind focused on single task vs wild west with stuff. We are here and reading.

I found many wonderful people who I reached out to in the first week who still check on me. This community can be helpful. Just post or talk those feelings out when needed.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-04-05T19:58:44+00:00

Taking one minute by minute, one hour by hour, one day by day is a start. Each morning relish in the fact you made it another day. Being cordial in the process to your STBX is hard but necessary, especially around your boys. Being the best father to your boys you can be is one of the most important things. Also, you must be a little selfish and take care of yourself. You can't take care of your boys if you don't take care of yourself. So many of us have been where you are. Surviving it is 100% possible. Doesn't seem like it now, but in the big scheme of things, your positive future and reality is definitely worth it.

Lumptbuttcat · 2024-04-05T19:13:17+00:00

Simple perspective on advice everyone gives. Take what you want or don’t want out of the equation for moving forward. Point is- whether it’s health, career, kids, interests, etc. you can work on all those things independent of your marital status.

Read up on 180 and grey rock. It’s part of moving forward and is accretive to all outcomes. It is a fail safe approach to your situation.

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-04-05T19:04:38+00:00

Kids are more resilient than you think. They will be fine. I'm six years past divorce and my kids are 13 and 17. They couldn't be happier.

First step is you need to retain a family law attorney in your county. This is not the time to DIY. Leave that for the home repairs.

Title	Just starting the process
Author	sveltecheese
Upvotes	8
Comments	4
Date	April 5, 2024 6:45 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bwpphw/just_starting_the_process/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/just-starting-the-process.1514134 https://theredarchive.com/post/1514134

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