I have been contemplating divorce for several years now and am hoping to hear some advice from other men contemplating or have experienced the same.

The relationship is 10 years old and began in our twenties. Much of the early relationship was characterized by social activity, which included a solid alcohol induced sexual life.

Now in our 30’s and two kids later, sex and intimacy is definitely lacking. My advances are quickly stifled and it appears intimacy with me is near the bottom of the priority list. Behavioral examples of this include scrolling through Facebook, watching television solo, and sleeping with our daughter each night.

I have always done my best to make her happy. Bought a house and completed a basement to support a home business, which requires me to work 18 hour days over the course of eight months to both complete the project and finance it. I have always been the caretaker in the relationship and enjoy that role; however, progressively waning reciprocity has left me resentful. The aforementioned business didn’t work out secondary to her unwillingness to follow through with the work required. She was miserable. I found work in the state she grew up and moved the family down. Within the first month of being here, she got blackout drunk at a wedding, ignored me, and flirted heavily with an old lover, which also happens to be my closest friend in the area.

I sought therapy to figure out how my beliefs might be influencing the marriage and ultimately believe it is her that continues to cause a rift in the marriage. She would likely say that I am never happy. I frequently discuss my perceptions and feelings while she avoids most difficult conversations. Most recently, I discussed divorce again as a reason to not buy a home together in the new location. She accused me of not “being all in.” I agreed to a certain extent. She changed her behaviors, became more engaged in the marriage, and displayed a level of commitment that made me hopeful. We bought a home, largely based on my income and financial ability, now things have reverted. I am feeling manipulated and the most logical path is divorce, but now am in a position far worse off. I do feel like i put everything into saving the marriage and feel very guilty about how this will impact my young children.