Ok, so Im in the thick of it. Quick back story for you and I just need some guidance please.

Before my wife and I were married I worked at a job that was very open, loose and fun. We were allowed to drink at work and pretty much do whatever as long as no one got hurt and we didnt blow the building up. It was an internet company. Ended up hooking up with a girl there which wasn't smart but I didnt think anything of it. 3 years down the road my now wife finds the story out and wants to leave. Convinced her to stay and we sorta worked it out. Shes hung it over my head every time we got into a fight from that point on. I got a different job at a more structured company and was set on making it work no matter how much hell I went through.

Fast forward 5 years, I have a 3 year old at this point, I get a phone call from one of her co-workers wives saying that something was going on with my wife and her husband. I was crushed. I knew I couldn't say/do anything because of my past but I confronted her with it and she fully admitted they were talking but I dont have solid evidence they physically did anything. I spiraled into a depression that I never would really show friends, family and the general public. I was hurt and angry. A co-worker of mine, who happens to be a female, was going through the exact same thing I was so I confided in her and we would talk things out. I received a promotion in the company but I had to move to a different location. We stayed in touch.

About a month went by and our talking started drifting into flirting. Occasionally she has to come to my location for training, warranty type stuff. Well one of the times she did, we ended up kissing. Fast forward about a year and my wife and I are pregnant again - this time with twins (they are 3 months old today). Me and the girl said we were done with everything and we cant do it anymore because of everything.

So it was revealed that an employee saw us kiss and told HR (who is also an owner of the company) happens to be friends with a coworker of my wife. So she proceeds to tell my wifes coworker what happened. She, in turn, went to my wifes boss who then had a sit down meeting and told her everything.

So I have a 4 year old and two 3 month old kids and my wife wants completely out. Shes beyond livid. I told her everything and admitted it. I just am absolutely lost. My kids are my world and pretty much the only thing that was keeping me sane. I know, I know, I should have thought about them. I get it.

She wants me out of the house and to hash it out over lunch in public today. What do I need to be doing now to help? She's pretty much said she wants to rake me over the coals even though we live in a no fault state.

TL:DR Wife wants out with 3 kids because of me. I'm lost.