So... not sure if this is the right place, as I’m not yet in any legal process of divorce, but..

I’m getting closer and closer to asking for a divorce or separation. Whenever we fight (not physically) or I get frustrated about our marriage, I’m so close to shouting it out, but don’t/can’t because the rational side of me takes over and feels it is not something to bring up in a state of emotion.

It feels like I’m wasting my life with my wife and will never have a happy home life. We no longer share the same interests. She used to come out and do things with me, but has become very introverted, depressed and anxious which has always been somewhat of an issue but not to this extent. It makes her seem to resent me for trying to get her to join me in anything I find fun. She is also unwilling to do things she would find fun and is apathetic when I try to arrange or ask her to do something she wants would previously enjoy. She does see a psychiatrist but refuses psychology because “it stresses her out”. Her health habits have also been gradually declining: smokes whenever she leaves a building, smokes a vape pen while in bed watching Netflix (90% of her waking hours she’s not at work), refuses to exercise (I feel through resentment of me, as I try to encourage her to do so based on all the research showing it’s health and psych benefits). She’s also obsessed with medications being her fix for everything, even though they haven’t helped at all in the past 10 years I have known her imo.

Due to her meds and psych issues, she has low labido. We haven’t had sex in almost a year, partly because I barely try anymore because when I show affection or try intimacy, I rarely getting any back. Even trying to cuddle, she barely reacts with any movement back towards me. Although it’s hard to steal a hug due to her always being in bed with a laptop on her watching Netflix.

I have to do 90% of the housework, bills, everything basically.

I’m so bored and frustrated in this marriage, and trying to not sound selfish, but I feel she has no desire to make me happy or cares about my happiness. At this point I’m happier hanging with friends than my wife who is very negative around me and brings my mood down with constant complaints about everything and never feels good.

I know depression is a big part of the frustration and I should be helping with that, but I try so hard to and just get dismissed and shouted at for even trying to suggest or discuss things that could help.

At this point I am fairly checked out of the marriage, but having a hard time ending it.

Scared of what a divorce would do to her. Scared I’m making a mistake. Scared I’ll never find anyone else to be happy with (I have no game lol) Scared of loneliness Scared I’ll lose all the financials/business I’ve worked so hard to achieve.

Been married 5 and a half years, together 10 years. I’m 33M she’s 30F. No kids, I own and run a business with a partner that is 2.5 years old and doing quite well. Wife works part time and in process of doing her second masters degree. I work my ass off to pay bills comfortably and enjoy luxuries in life. I Earned (including partner distributions about 170k last year, wife earned about 24k. We own a house together which has about 200k in equity. I also owe 100k in student loan debt (pre marriage). She owes 60k from within our marriage).

Where do I start? What would be the likely financial ramifications here? I don’t want to lose half my business and have to work 60-70 hour weeks for nothing. Is there anything I can do to make this easier on both of us? I feel I’ve been wanting this for at least two years now, and even not sure it was the right decision to marry at all (had kinda cold feet our wedding week). But keep convincing myself things will get better, but it’s just been steadily worsening.

Sorry for the rambling. Looking for any similar experiences, advice on how to not get screwed if I do go through, and support from anyone who’s been here.