Process getting separated

Sirtemed · 2026-02-21T08:10:59+00:00

It all depends on what grounds she asks for a restraining order. Is there a claim for domestic violence or other abuse involved? Either way get legal advice if you can afford it. Otherwise be prepared for the worse and make sure you have somewhere to stay, perhaps family, until you get a new place for yourself. Most importantly take care of yourself. Separation no mater who initiates it and the reasons behind it and an eventual divorce are very stresful and taxing times. All the best.

Vokenhagen21 · 2026-02-20T17:44:42+00:00

You need to do what these commenters said, and then prepare for anything. Nothing matters until you get in front of the judge or hearing officer. Whatever you do, DO NOT VIOLATE THE TRO!!!! That is the surefire way to lose everything. The TRO can be dismissed (remember the temporary part of this means the court will grant it for any reason), and you need to decide what is best for you. I moved back in (it was my house before marriage), and after a few months was served another TRO. Again dismissed, but you have to decide if its worth it to keep fighting against that. Know this, no matter what you do, you will be on the hook to keep paying your part (or all of) the mortgage/rent/bills/utilities. Hopefully you are in a better spot, because i am barely getting by. IMO, worth it to keep stability for my kids and attempt to keep the home, but my kids are young. If you don't have kids, gtfo, being away from that person will save your sanity.

In the meantime, get your lawyer, have them get the police to provide an escort so you can get your valuables from your home. If you leave anything behind, don't expect it to be there when you get back, even if the court says it should be. Once you have a plan, stick to it and do not say/text/call/be anywhere near your ex. The TRO means lawyers handle everything, keep it that way until judgement is rendered.

digcycle · 2026-02-20T14:47:04+00:00

First recommendation is get a lawyer ASAP and have them represent you in this trial. Put it in a credit card or do what you have to do to get them on your team. Then start reading the affidavit and what are their exact accusations. Be ready to speak to the incident in question in the affidavit and how you will refute her argument. Begin going back and looking at texts and emails on her threatening you or fighting custody or anything that can show her state of mind is not on the allegations but on the divorce or custody issue and trying to gain an advantage. You need to show that she has motive to show the allegations as false or disprove some how. Speak your truth calmly in court and follow your lawyer guidance.

dday_throwaway3 · 2026-02-20T12:45:33+00:00

She can ask the court for anything. Whether or not the TRO will be granted depends on what she said. If she followed the advice from the women's divorce playbook, she told the judge she doesn't feel safe around you and fears for her life.

You need to stop planning and start doing because your wife is already 10 steps ahead of you getting a TRO against you. She's got a gaggle of divorced hens whispering in her ear telling her how to optimize her outcomes in divorce.

Here's why you need an attorney and how to find one in your area: https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1c2n16i/fundamentals_you_need_a_family_law_attorney/

Title	Process getting separated
Author	Wonderful_Yak_4724
Upvotes	1
Comments	4
Date	February 20, 2026 12:13 AM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1r9g5rb/process_getting_separated/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/process-getting-separated.1573868 https://theredarchive.com/post/1573868

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