I have been married for 19 years. We have three beautiful children. Two boys and one girls. Our marriage has been rocky over the years but I have never believed in divorce despite some difficulties. For over 10 years whenever we have a major argument, my wife threatens divorce after which I will compromise. I believe this emboldened her to the extent of she does not respect me anymore.

There has been no infidelity to the best of my knowledge but she is very secretive with her phone. She spends a lot of time on social media. We are middle class and I bring in over 80% of our household income. She spends her money on whatever she wants and I pay all the bills in the house including mortgage and all childcare expenses.

She tells me she is miserable and that I am the cause of her misery. She started seeing a therapist after Covid and since then things have gotten worse. She blames me for everything including personal responsibilities like her weight gain. She forbids any of my family from visiting our home. She does not mind yelling and arguing in the presence of the kids which she knows really hurts me.

Last week she threatened divorce for the 99th time but this time I didn’t argue. I told her to go ahead. I have contacted a lawyer. I am waiting for her to file. I would have filed first but I can’t live with the guilt if I did. My heart is broken but I think this is the end of the road for the marriage. I have recently discovered this forum and it has been very informative. All opinions are appreciated. It should be therapeutic for me.