Hi everyone. Want to share my story:

11 years ago I met my wife. In Europe, Holland. She was travelling, I was living there (not Dutch) and things went amazingly. She lived 2 years there with me, got Married and moved to Australia. (she is Australian)

Until the last 3 years, things have been good. One way or the other, one doing more of this or that, we were a team, would help each other where we could and support each other. I was always the one to take care of the mundane things, in the house and financially.

The last 3 years have been progressively painful. She decided that wants to be more independent, spend more time with her friends and have less justifications to give. Alcohol has been a problem, other drugs became more usual too. Depression was back, unhappiness was back, distance and lack of affection started looming. Sex became scarce, and when there was some felt like a task/favour. Early peri menopause can be a thing doctors say. She is 37 🤯

She didn’t want to go back to antidepressants and basically used booze and drugs to cope and create this “persona” on social situations. I know that person doesn’t exist, and slowly started to dislike that person, the trying too hard…the being that insecure and broken when in reality she has no big reasons to be that (besides the psychological side of things, which I know can be huge to deal with).

Two weeks ago we had the chat. I was clear that as it is it will not work. That I am not happy anymore, she is not happy anymore and would like her to have some space to figure out what she wants from life, and from the relationship to be.

On our 10th anniversary she thought would be nice if we would go for a dinner. So we did, I thought that could be a good indication of something positive about to be revealed . I was wrong.

No will to keep doing us, probably won’t ever be in a relationship and feels that doesn’t want to have sex with anyone ever. Her words. “ I feel you could be happier with someone else and I will never be able to be that person…”

There are basically no options left to work on the marriage from my perspective, would love to make it work for both of us but it just won’t.

I am 40, fit, have a good job, love no dramas, camping and travelling and tomorrow will start looking for rooms closer from work. It’s a really weird place to be, I am on a different country that I now call home but she was the only reason I came here for. Some days I feel that soon my life will be better and wanna give that a chance down under, some days it just hurts.

Keep the fight mates. If nothing changes, nothing ever changes.

🫡