Going through a really difficult separation. After 18 years (married 12) left me 3 months ago and claimed she was forced to leave an "emotionally abusive relationship". Still 9 months until divorce can happen and a lot of challenging things to navigate through (child support, division of assets etc.)

I had to fight for shared parenting and was given it through a pretty ugly motion trial in court. Her and her family turned against me. Everyone else (including me) who looks at our situation can't understand why this is going the way it is. She won't talk to me other than parenting app. If I don't agree with her she just says the same thing through her laywer. We are bleeding away all of our family savings and she doesn't seem to care.

My wife seems very angry I would not just leave the kids with her and just disappear. I was the SAHD for much of our kids life and was very involved in all parenting.

All my correspondence has been respectful and I have not tried to antagonize or do anything other than just work through the process.

I recognize that my marriage is over but want to progress through the rest of this process in the least confrontational way possible. My kids are young and I am trying to think of the big picture which is going to be at least 16 years of co parenting.

I am interested in co parenting our kids but she is unwilling to treat me as an equal parent and just delivers instructions by email or tries through her lawyer.

Has anyone gone from a situation that seems unbelievable and un livable to something manageable. Any pro tips to get there without having to sacrifice too much? I know time is a key factor and my focus remains on myself and my kids but I am wondering if anyone can provide guidance on things they found made positive changes in their situation.

Thanks

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