I am sure people have it worse out there but when I share my ongoing story with my confidants, they are consistently appalled and sometimes infuriated. I am typically good at finding and keeping good character people around me and they know my genuine, positive and good natured character. I have been a warehouse manager for over a decade now and I am a bonafide masterclass at diffusing emotions. I can tell you with certainty that narcissism is unsolvable. You just have to remove yourself. That was my mistake because I'm an inattentive type and a problem solver. So I needed a challenge innately. I fully recognize my mistake. Even though we just entered divorce proceedings I feel far along emotionally. I have separated myself from her overtime as I found more and more reasons not to share with her. All of my focus is on my kids now and I am fortunate that I feel like I will never be alone. Three years prior to meeting my wife were the loneliest times I will ever have. Even if she takes my kids from me, my perspective on life and my goals are changed. I am truly an open book. I am free and I am reforming my identity and who I want to be for the rest of my life. I no longer have a desire to build a family because I have done it. Mission accomplished. I have no yearning for a long-term relationship. It's about looking out for me and my children and that's it. What I learned more recently that was like an epiphany, and I otherwise probably wouldn't listen to it anyway, was that marriage is not unconditional love. That was my mistake. I thought no matter how bad things are, in marriage, your love is unconditional and you must do everything you can to stay bound and work through it. That's what most of family advice was going into it. They said it would be hard. I think a successful marriage has challenges but when people truly love each other they are able to work through those tough times by supporting each other and having each other's backs. I think in all of the cases here, one or both of the spouses are making things hard in the relationship, for whatever reason. I have learned that marriage is absolutely conditional and if your conditions are not met, then you need to leave. If you don't, the end result looks like defensiveness, symping, being reactive, toxic. You'll just spiral out of control, especially if your partner is a narcissist. That's where they get leverage and feed, and ragebait. I have so much clarity now understanding that loving relationships are absolutely conditional. Your love for your children is unconditional and that distinction should be made clear. Don't lie to yourself. Find peace.