For the first time today, The teacher at nursery told me That my daughter cried about my divorce

Not about my divorce, perhaps; She’s 3 and divorce isn’t something she understands, But she cried because mummy and daddy live in separate houses

I like my new house; It’s the house I moved into after We sold the family home.

It’s the house that, in my head, Is a new and fresh start It’s a place where my ex wife hasn’t been.

It’s a place where her affair partner hasn’t been either, Which means something to me. It means a new life and the possibility of a future.

And yet - all I can think this evening is how if I had stayed if I had just ignored the betrayal, the lies and the pain Then maybe my daughter wouldn’t have cried.

And I know that’s not the answer, really, Because things that grow in the darkness find their way into the light And I am a more deserving person than to sacrifice that part of myself.

But my daughter deserves more She deserves everything And choices made for her are now hers to bear

So we will bear them together And we will cry together And we will build together