Am I a looser?

When I was about 18-19, I had no confidence. Especially when it came to women. Going through school, I’ve been told a number of times that “I’m just weird” and a bunch of other things that made it clear that women just didn’t like me. And being in an environment that had the belief that the more women you attract or sleep with means that you will be respected more, this really got to me. I’ve had people diminish what I have to say just because I don’t get women, and I even had a girl that I used to work with at McDonald’s ask me “who would wanna have kids with you?”

Now for the last couple year’s, pretty much when the pandemic hit, I’ve been doing a lot for myself in terms of bettering myself,having a purpose, and building confidence and discipline. I workout 6 days a week and I’m in the best shape I’ve ever been in. I go to trade school at the community college and have a 3.5 gpa,I graduate in spring. Going to school has given me the mindset that there’s nothing you can’t learn and now I have a life long goal of becoming a genius someday. Im a much more confident person than I was 3 years ago.

I’ve also been putting in work on trying attract women. Ive tried to better my looks and I personally think I’m a really good looking guy. I’ve picked up hobbies and changed up my clothing. Not saying I’m super fresh or anything, but I get compliments on a lot of the stuff I wear from women and guys and I really like the aesthetic I’ve chosen for my self in terms of clothing. I even got a part time job at the gym while going to school so can be better at socializing with people, and started reading the art of seduction.

While I have met a lot of great people and made some new friends working at the gym, it still seems like I’m not really attracting women and these last couple months it’s really been getting to me. The things that people were saying to me that I talked about earlier have been on replay in my head frequently. I’m trying keep my head up and be positive but honestly idk anymore.

Let me be clear. My goals and extracurricular activities have nothing to do with wanting to talk to women. I love the hobbies Ive picked up and I’m proud of the work I’ve been putting in and the show will go on regardless of how I feel.

However, I know for a fact I’m missing out by not hooking up/dating. And with the things that people told me that I talked about earlier, it makes me feel unwanted, sick, disgusting and overall like absolute garbage.