For the benefit of those on the line, you want to share a cautionary tale of something you did when under RP that backfired, that triggered you to take steps to get out of RP?

For example, I (F45+yrs) was recently discussing life with another menopausal woman (difficult stage of life when we need a bit more patience and support). She told me her husband of over 20yrs had asked to renew marriage vows. Then 2 weeks later revealed he’d been having an affair with her friend. He wanted to both stay with his wife and have this on the side. She thought about it, and then decided no that for her monogamy and trust is essential, so their marriage is now over. He was then in tears begging upset about it, wanting her to take him back, and playing victim wondering why he couldn’t have his cake and eat it.

While I don’t know if this was RP specifically, the combo of first asking to renew vows followed by revealing the affair and trying to negotiate for open relationship after the fact sounds like a manipulative technique, and that he seemed genuinely surprised and upset when she decided to quit the marriage, that his plan backfired. In this case I don’t know if he has learned his lesson, however he has just unintentionally blown up a long term marriage to the mother of his children that had a lot of love in it.